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ESSENCE magazine reports Arizona Cardinal Matt Ware recently got married. The mag posted plenty of gorgeous photos of the wedding, but the theme of the wedding cake?
Unfortunate.
Then again, if Mrs. Ware was down for that, Matt certainly has himself a kept woman. Salut!
Because no battle is ever won, he said. They are not even fought. The field only reveals to man his own folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools. - William Faulker, “The Sound and the Fury”
That was written by Mississippi’s “greatest author,” who I also thought was kind of overrated. Which, it turns out, could easily apply on multiple levels to the Ole Miss football team. On a national stage and with a No. 4 ranking, the Rebels completely imploded, falling 16-10 at South Carolina last night. It may or may not be true that no battle is ever won, but for Ole Miss, this one was certainly lost.
Mainly it was lost for two reasons: QB Jevan Snead had a miserable game, going 7 for 21 for 107 yards while being pressured by the Gamecocks’ defense all night. And Houston Nutt’s game plan reminded you of why he was barely a .500 coach with a backfield of Felix Jones and Darren McFadden at Arkansas. Nutt seemed unable to accept that the passing game just wasn’t working, and waited until the fourth quarter to turn to running back Dexter McLuster. He ran for 68 yards in the final quarter, but by then it was too little, too late. Read more…
• The Dolphins held the ball for more than 30 minutes longer than the Colts, but it was Peyton Manning & Co. who left Land Shark Stadium with a 27-23 win on Monday night.
• It’s a Twitter trifecta: First, Redskins rookie LB Robert Henson takes “dim wit” Washington fans to task for booing at FedEx Field.
• Then Marcus Fitzgerald bitches on behalf of brother Larry about the lack of catches the Cardinals WR is getting.
• And Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema admits that one of his scouting techniques is following the Tweets of opposing players.
• A South Carolina man is sentenced to life in prison without parole for the vicious stabbing death of a high school cheerleader.
By now, you know our delight with the advent of Twitter; while 95% of athlete correspondence is stuff like “hey what’s up!!!” and “workin out lol,” there’s a small fraction of it in which everything that a player’s coached not to say to the media actually comes out. That, of course, is where the fun lies.
(It’s always a good day when the Fail Whale comes to play.)
But while the NFL is cracking down on its players’ Twitter usage, just as we always feared, discord has found a way to circumvent the rules, because discord always finds a way. If order beat disorder, there wouldn’t have been any crime in the last 3,500 years. Here, our agent of mischief is the family of NFL players; specifically, Larry Fitzgerald’s brother Marcus, a football player himself at Marshall, has a few choice words for Kurt Warner after Sunday’s Arizona game. Isn’t that right, “old ass man”?
Week One of his first full season as head coach of the 49ers has not slowed the growth of the legend of Mike Singletary. When he was handed the job on an interim basis to replace the embattled Mike Nolan, there was doubt in many corners as to whether he was ready for the job.
Sure he had great instincts as a player. But great players don’t always turn out to be great coaches — would Singletary have the instincts to coach at the highest level? On a weekend in which some big-time coaches proved that their instincts were suspect, Singletary came through looking pretty good against the Cardinals. Read more…
• Erin Andrews wants to put that whole terrible peephole incident behind her - that’s why she’s going on Oprah.
• What better way to get pumped up for the college football season than with our first look at the USC Song Girls.
• Tony Romo’s back with another blonde bombshell, as the Cowboys QB is supposedly smitten with Dallas sports TV reporter Candice Crawford.
• Why should you watch coverage of Kansas vs. Northern Colorado on Saturday? Because Samantha Steele will be working the sidelines.
• Want to tell the Chicago Bears coaching staff that you’d love to make the final roster but don’t know how? Say it with flowers.
• Is Ana Ivanovic gradually turning into Anna Kournikova, at least in terms of tennis winnability?
• WNBA star Candace Parker says she’s conscious of what she eats. But she won’t remain conscious for long by scarfing down some In ‘n’ Out.
• Irate Irish fans use billboard to complain about Charlie Weis.
• Could the Big Ten be bringing a bowl game to Yankee Stadium?
• A-Rod talks to teens about steroid abuse. Ironic or inspirational?
Being suspended from the first four games of your NFL season — especially when your team has just been to the Super Bowl — would be very hard on some players. Arizona Cardinals tight end Ben Patrick seems to be taking it pretty well, however.
Not only is Patrick taking some mandatory time off from football for violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy, he also took time off from a raucous game of beer pong at this apparent Arizona State campus party to, well, you can see it in the photo. Tight ends have must have great hands, after all. More photos following the jump.
Do you want to put up with such sugary garbage that your teeth will fall out? We’d guess the answer’s no, but hey, some people have suicidal teeth. You never know. Anyway, you’ve got two options on that front. The first is to eat at IHOP.
(This is so necessary right now.)
The other option, which is closely related, is to read the press release that IHOP and the NFL just released to announce their partnership. It’s awful. It’s stupid. This is not a drill, Ironic Detachment Team; this is the real thing, and you’re going to have roll your eyes harder than you’ve ever rolled them before.
Being a backup quarterback for a small-market NFL team is somewhat of a thankless job, albeit a thankless job that pays millions of dollars. You practice just as hard as your more talented counterparts, but the only time you get in a game is when the outcome is already decided or someone better than you gets injured. Nobody really cares what brand of hot dogs you prefer, shoes you wear, or who you’re dating. There’s a reason they call it “buried” on the depth chart.
(Mark Sanchez, beware - this could be your future!)
For Arizona Cardinals backup QB Matt Leinart, who signed $5 million worth of endorsement deals back in the days when people thought he might be good at football, that presents a problem. The former Next Big Thing is stuck in Phoenix carrying 75-year-old Kurt Warner’s jock, and it seems he’s finally realized that the way to get back in the spotlight is to toughen up and stop being a “pretty boy”. His new training regimen? Getting his ass kicked by mixed martial arts fighters.
