Give Oscar Corral credit: he’s got a flair for obscurity. After all, if you were asked to list every single major leaguer who’s been in the league for the last seven years*, you’d give up long before reaching Kiko Calero, a journeyman reliever who’s currently toiling away in
Baseball Hell Miami with the Marlins.
(Really, Corral should not have been using this as an ID.)
But perhaps that was the draw for Corral, a suspected illegal immigrant; the whole “I must be Kiko if I say I am, because who would ever make that up?” thing. Even Kiko Calero doesn’t enjoy telling people he’s Kiko Calero.
Donovan McNabb may not be getting any luckier in NFC Championship Games, but at least he’s getting luckier with the law. After his Arizona house was vandalized by lawn-burners just before the NFC title tilt, there was every indication that it would take forever for the perpetrators to be brought to justice. Evidently that hard-style, desert justice kicked in, though, because police already have arrested two men who they claim were responsible for the vandalism. Here’s the surprise: They’re two 30-somethings.
Yup, according to FANHOUSE, McNabb was the victim of two gentlemen — not teens — who may or may not have been very liquored up. Thirty-seven-year-old Rex Perkins, a Chandler, Ariz., native, was the criminal dumb enough to leave some form of identification behind, and his co-worker, 28-year-old Ryan Hanlon, quickly caved, as well. The real kick in the teeth for McNabb? The dynamic duo is only getting charged with misdemeanors in the case. Misdemeanors. Strangely, the lax punishment seems to match the lax attitude of the criminals; Perkins’ identification left? A return addressed envelope with his name on it.
That the criminals weren’t teenagers is a shock, but there’s still a conspiracy theory surrounding the case: How did it go unreported for days before the game?
Adrian Ross isn’t the only one to have his scantily-clad Super Bowl shindig scuttled. The EAST VALLEY TRIBUNE reports that there’ll be no Lingerie Bowl performed this year.
Organizers blame the city of Scottsdale for “wasting their time” trying to obtain a permit for the halftime extravaganza. It was their first attempt at holding the game in the same Super Bowl-host city, as the previous pay-per-view contests were played & taped at the L.A. Coliseum.
It will be the second year in a row viewers will be denied a chance to see gals decked in pads, panties & push-up bras playing pigskin.