Brog: All The Big Macs I Want, Thanks To Laila Ali!

In my drive from Miami to Los Angeles, I’m not even halfway home yet, as I come to you today from lovely Lake Charles, Louisiana. I’m hoping to make it to El Paso tonight, if I can effectively steer clear of the thousands of Taco Cabanas and Whataburgers that I”ll encounter along the way.

Being on the road, you never realize how much you miss tomatoes until you eat fast food every meal. If the Mexicans start pooping in liquid cheese too, I’ll soon be shorting Taco Bell stock.

Also on the subject of fast food, I live mostly now on the west coast, so Hardees is off my radar screen. But it seems every other billboard driving through the South pimps the chain’s “Thickburger”. Who’s the marketing wizard who came up with that name?

Kim Kardashian Thickburger

As bad a name as that is, Hardees could still save face with an ad campaign featuring Reggie Bush’s favorite menu item. With the chain owned by Carls, Jr., which has featured plenty of sexually-charged commercial spots, it’s probably only a matter of time.

Speaking of liquid cheese, my crummy diet has me a little concerned about my newly-expanded waistline. So thank goodness I spotted this in SBD today, “Boxer Laila Ali, who is six-months pregnant, will be featured in a global print and TV campaign for Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula stretch mark products. Ads are slated to run on broadcast outlets and in major magazines in the fall.

Laila Ali Palmers Stretchmarks Endorsement

Laila Ali for stretch marks products? How that endorsement opportunity eluded Buster Douglas lo these many years remains a mystery

Pete Carroll Will Ferrell

Or at the very least, a product placement pop in the latest Will Ferrell vehicle?

Here’s to all the folks in FL, MS, LA and TX for helping keep my speed down. That’s mainly thanks to discriminating locals driving cars that look exactly like those used by State Troopers. How can Ford and GM be struggling so when all those factory-fresh Crown Vics are flying off the lots from Lafayette to Lake Charles?

I’d like to ask the good folks at Hilton and Marriott a question. How are you able to keep your hotel rooms clean, as it seems all your maids only camp outside my room all morning - every morning. On the bright side, I’ve absolutely nailed the Spanish words for “toilet brush“.

From this week’s Comcast SportsNet appearance by Jonathan Papelbon - as the Bosox closer talked about the Devil Rays (1:35 in) (video after the jump): Read more…