Speed Read: Will H1N1 Affect NCAA FB Season?

Yesterday, Adam J mentioned that Vegas is bracing for the effect swine flu could have on college football betting lines this year, with casinos planning to hold out on releasing lines for as long as possible to make sure teams aren’t affected. Adam also rightly points out that a swine flu outbreak in and of itself isn’t any different than a bout with food poisoning or any other bug that might be going around on a team. But those types of ailments are usually few and far between. The difference with the swine flu is that it’s not really a matter of “if” it’s going to happen to your team, but “when.” And that should be unsettling to any fan whose team is a national title contender this year.

Swine flu

(Anyone picking Arkansas in the SEC West this year?)

TCU is the latest team to be struck by the virus, with at least five players reporting symptoms a little more than a week in advance of the new season. And, although it isn’t yet confirmed, it’s suspected that members of Alabama’s team have come down with it as well.

In an odd way, you might say that these two teams are among those with an advantage over their competition this year. Teams that get it out of the way now aren’t going to have to deal with it later in the season, when the stakes are higher and tired, weary bodies may react more negatively to the virus itself.  With the amount of, um, interpersonal contact involved in a college football game, it seems likely that H1N1 will make the rounds throughout the sport this year. And a poorly-timed outbreak could leave a team significantly weakened on a game day.

Swine flu girl

(Good luck getting girls to make out with you at parties this year, college dudes)

Plus, schools and the NCAA I assume will have to work together to come up with some sort of protocol for using players who are suspected or confirmed to have the virus. If they feel up to it, will they be allowed to play, knowing that they could spread it to their teammates and opponents?

Let’s put it this way: Troy travels to Gainesville to play Florida a week before the Gators host Tennessee. What if half of Troy’s team comes down with the virus (that isn’t so far-fetched: see Duke) in the days before that game. Do the Gators want anything to do with that team, knowing that they have Lane Kiffin coming to town the following week? Would non-infected teams have grounds for refusing to play an infected team? (I understand that’s unlikely, but it’s at least a thought, right?)

Tim Tebow Heisman baby pose

(It’s all fun and games now, Tebow, until those Crocs and that baby give you debilitating diarrhea)

I’m not trying to overstate the effects of H1N1. I understand that in most healthy people, like college athletes, the symptoms are relatively mild. But if 50 or more guys on a football team are going through it at roughly the same time, there will certainly be a difference in how they play on game day. In college football, one bad week can ruin a national title run. You figure that some highly-ranked team is going to get unlucky enough to have this get to them at precisely the wrong time.

Which team would you most like to see get swine flu right before their biggest game of the year?

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Man, has it been a good couple of weeks to be covering college sports in Kentucky. Even the guy who doesn’t even coach there anymore is getting in on the act. Of course, I’m talking about Billy Gillispie’s DUI, which we did mention yesterday.

Billy Gillispie

But I revisit it today because of the hilarity contained in the police report about the incident (of course, other than the fact that DUIs aren’t particularly hilarious). Quoted text courtesy of the LOUISVILLE COURIER-JOURNAL and LEXINGTON HERALD-LEADER:

The officers asked Gillispie for his proof of insurance, and he said it was in his golf bag in the trunk.

Well, sure. I mean, who doesn’t keep their car insurance card in their golf bag?

“During the exit, he used the door for balance and was confused on how to open the trunk”

He’s driving a Mercedes, so there’s like a 100% chance that opening the trunk involves pushing the button on the car key that looks like a trunk.

“I asked Billy if he had had anything to drink tonight. He stated no he had been golfing all day.”

He was arrested at 2:47 a.m. Now, unless he has some of those special golf balls that light up, he had most certainly been done golfing for, oh, somewhere in the neighborhood of seven hours. Not only is that enough time to get hammered, but he could’ve slept with some random lady at a restaurant and paid for her abortion and still had an hour left over.

The report said Gillispie, who was driving, had red eyes, slurred speech and a “strong fruity smell coming from his person (possibly wine).”

What, Billy couldn’t have been slamming appletinis?

Billy Gillispie

(”I’m more of a Midori sour guy”)

Michael Vick made his preseason debut last night. Here’s a story about it. If you want to know anything more about it, just tune into the 24/7 coverage on ESPN today. Hey, at least they stopped talking about Favre for a day.

• Speaking of Brett Favre, instead of the inevitable “retirement” press conference that’s coming at the end of the season, ESPN should just air this clip of Pat Cashman from the late, great sketch comedy show “Almost Live”:

• Yes, there is a Hall of Fame that believes Chuck Finley and Brian Downing are worthy of induction.

• God is about to fire Donald Trump’s golf course near L.A.

• Red Sox shortstop Nick Green pitched two scoreless innings in last night’s 9-5 loss to the White Sox. Still looking for a closer, Phillies?

• Italian national soccer coach Marcello Lippi says he won’t choose any gay players for his World Cup squad. Aside from this being an asinine thing to say, how would he know? How’s he going decide which of these guys is gay?

Italian soccer players

• Ahhhhh! Let’s get this back on track. Save us, Anna Rawson!

Anna Rawson

• Arizona is going to be devastated if the pro sports team that’s threatening to leave actually goes through with it. We’re talking about the Cubs, of course.

• I don’t normally agree with CBS SPORTS’ Gregg Doyel, but he makes some good points about the whole Caster Semanya story, like this one (in context, the “ugly” comment makes sense):

If there were questions about Semenya’s gender, they should have been asked and answered before she raced. If she was female enough to enter the race, she should be female enough to win it. She didn’t get any less feminine in the 1:55.45 it took her to win. Her gender never would have been questioned had she finished seventh, because she wasn’t too ugly to enter the race. She was just too ugly to win it. 

Dan Duquette used to run the Red Sox. Now, the military-themed semi-pro baseball team he owns in Nashua, NH, has been locked out of their own stadium because they owe about $45,000 in back rent and other services.

• Former NHL coach Jacques Demers, who was illiterate for most of his adult life, has been appointed to the Canadian Senate. He’ll be traveling the country hosting town hall meetings about tuque reform.

• The WIZ OF ODDS says 51% of the games involving Division 1-A (or FBS, whatever) teams in week 1 of the college football season also involve a 1-AA team, the highest such percentage ever.

LPGA Catfight Could Cost Commissioner Her Job

With everything that happened over the past 48 hours, I’ll excuse you if you weren’t paying much attention to the LPGA Tour. Which is the problem: nobody really is. Despite having young & talented players, pushing the sex appeal angle as hard as they can, and taking draconian steps to improve the tour’s visibility (remember English Only-Gate?), the tour is sinking to WNBA levels of irrelevancy.

Anna Rawson GoDaddy TV ad

(Anna Rawson might have more free time to secure domain names.)

This became painfully evident last week, when word came out that the tour was being forced to cancel its event at Kapalua in Hawaii scheduled for October because of the lack of a title sponsor. Which means that the tour schedule might have only 10 stops in the U.S. next year, including none in Hawaii, Arizona or Florida. But - to paraphrase “This is Spinal Tap” - that’s OK: those aren’t big golfing areas, anyway.

Read more…

Meet Anna Rawson’s Cute GoDaddy TV Ad Co-Star

We were all excited when Anna Rawson at long last made her televised debut as a spokesbabe for GoDaddy.Com. Although it was great to see Anna bust her commercial acting chops, some questions still remained.

Anna Rawson Brenna Sakas

For example, what happened next in the ad? In order to do so, you have to go to GoDaddy’s site to see the exciting conclusion. So check it out, and make sure you hold your sides firmly to keep them from splitting from hilarious laughter.

But the real question is - who’s Anna’s good-looking golf partner?

(Mystery answered plus plenty o’ photos after the jump.)

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Week In Review: Laker Fans’ Celebration is a Riot

• The Lakers win the NBA title, and many Angelenos celebrate accordingly - if “Angeleno” is Spanish for “a$$hole“.

Lakers fan riot

• Baseball phenom Bryce Harper don’t need no education, plans to skip final two years of high school to become eligible for next year’s MLB draft.

• Posing for a new photoshoot, Anna Kournikova shows she’s still A-OK.

• “Joe Buck Live” makes its long-awaited(?) debut, and Artie Lange insures that it’s a memorable one.

• The mom of porn star Catalina Cruz used to work as a secretary for former Cleveland Browns coach Sam Rutigliano.

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Anna Rawson Makes Her GoDaddy Girl TV Debut

• It’s finally here: Anna Rawson’s first TV commercial as a GoDaddy Girl.

Anna Rawson

Tom Brady & Gisele Bundchen are six months away from unleashing Superbaby onto our world.

• Count Brendan Haywood among those who aren’t pleased about Donte’ Stallworth’s light sentence. But Plaxico probably isn’t as judgmental.

• Wimbledon is worried about potentially massive match-fixing.

• Hard to believe it’s been 15 years since O.J.’s most memorable run.

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Video: Anna Rawson’s First GoDaddy Commercial

Is Danica Patrick played out? It seems sudden, being that she’s still on the rise in her young IRL career and her commercials are still popular. But lo and behold, there’s two ladies in the latest GODADDY.COM commercial… and neither of them are her.

GoDaddy Anna Rawson
(Oh! Oh! They’re looking at each other like that! Something might happen!)

On the left is… some random GoDaddy eye candy. More importantly, on the right is the lovely Anna Rawson, a fixture of the LPGA & newest GoDaddy Girl. In a commercial that was supposed to air today before Bethpage Black was turned into the bottom of the ocean, Rawson and her ladypal are playing golf, when all of a sudden… oh, just watch for yourself on the video, which we’re pretty sure you can’t find anywhere else on the Internet yet (okay, technically, DEVIL BALL GOLF beat us by a day) after the break.

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Naked Sunbather Arrested On English Golf Course

When shooting a few rounds on the local fairways, it’s always good to keep an eye out for any balls in the rough. Especially if they’re attached to a guy on the golf course who’s sunbathing naked.

Anna Rawson

(Unfortunately, we have don’t have a photo of said naked sunbather. So here’s a shot of a semi-naked Anna Rawson instead. Hope this suffices.)

MK NEWS reports that group of golfers at the Abbey Hill Golf Center in Milton Keynes, England, were playing the ninth hole, when they came across a large 22-year-old man “wearing just his socks, lying on the fairway at the ninth hole, with a dog standing by his side.”

How shocking! I didn’t know dogs were allowed on golf courses.

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Week In Review: QB Sanchez Does GQ, Gets Girl

• He hasn’t even thrown a pass yet, but Jets QB Mark Sanchez is already cementing his status as a Big Apple sex symbol with a GQ photo spread:

Mark Sanchez Hilary Rhoda GQ shoot

And Hilary Rhoda, the bikini-clad babe sharing the snapshot spotlight, is also apparently Mark’s new main squeeze.

Tony Kornheiser gives up his “Monday Night Football” gig, so ESPN tabs Jon Gruden as his replacement. It should be fun, considering what the ex-Bucs coach has said in the past about the Worldwide Leader.

• Will recent sex scandals cause Australian rugby to ban its cheerleaders?

• The Pepsi Center double-books a Nuggets-Lakers playoff game & WWE’s “Monday Night Raw” on the same night. Of course, Vince McMahon is going to have lots of fun with this Denver Debacle.

• Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger is hoping her boyfriend, Formula One star Lewis Hamilton, will soon race with her to the wedding altar.

Read more…

New Site Lets You Hire Hotties To Golf With You

We’ve all been there before. You and your two buddies go to play some golf, and just as you’re ready to tee off the starter comes up and tells you that this fat guy in a tank top is going to be joining your group. Wouldn’t it be better if you could choose to fill out your foursome with someone who’s a little easier on the eyes?

Anna Rawson Blair ONeal Play Golf Designs

That’s what PLAY GOLF DESIGNS thinks. The Las Vegas-based website allows you, for a rather hefty fee, to choose from 24 attractive young ladies to come play golf with you. But this isn’t Par Mates or some sort of veiled prostitution ring. No, these are actual aspiring professional golfers who have decided to use their physical attributes to help supplement their income while they work on their game.

And it’s not just a bunch of no-names, either. Among the ladies available for hire are Aussie Go Daddy Girl Anna Rawson and established LPGA pro Aree Song.

More details, and many more photos of the ladies, after the jump.

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Week In Review: Anna Goes ‘Daddy’; Lance Hurts

Anna Rawson takes a swing at becoming the newest Go Daddy Girl.

Anna Rawson

Lance Armstrong breaks his collarbone after taking a spill in Spain. Wonder how the race coverage would have sounded in Punjabi?

• Even NBA cheerleaders aren’t safe in these harsh economic times.

• Some Golden Domers get their Irish up over President Obama’s plans to speak at Notre Dame’s commencement.

Herb DeShaies, you old dog! Sneaking an on-camera kiss with a sideline reporter & embarrassing your son Jim in the meantime.

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