• Why would Allen Iverson ever join the Grizzlies? Because God told him to.

• Andrea McNulty is willing to drop her sexual assault lawsuit against Ben Roethlisberger - as long as Big Ben admits he did it.

• A foolish foursome tries to steal Cal Ripken Jr.’s “8″ statue from the front of Camden Yards.

• The Redskins are redfaced over the bad publicity of suing a 72-year-old woman over season tickets, so they opt not to take grandma’s 66 grand.

• Since when did Cole Hamels go the David Beckham metrosexual route?

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Andrea McNulty, the woman who has sued Ben Roethlisberger for allegedly raping her last year, has had her credibility and motivations called into question many times since her lawsuit was filed in July. But now, in an attempt to make her seem both less crazy and less of a gold digger, she has offered to withdraw the lawsuit.

Oh, if it were only that simple. As you’ll see, McNulty’s “offer” may seem like a noble pursuit, but it stipulates that Big Ben do the one thing he’ll never, ever do. So, without further ado, here are the three conditions for having the lawsuit dropped:

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More supposed details are emerging in the Ben Roethlisberger sexual assault case in Nevada, and it’s not looking good for Andrea McNulty, the woman who claims that the Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback raped her in a Stateline hotel room in 2008 and is suing him in civil court. Of course we may never know the whole truth, but one thing is becoming abundantly clear: If McNulty is going to win this, she’s going to have to do it on her own.

In affidavits submitted to Washoe County Court in Reno by Roethlisberger’s attorneys, three Harrah’s Resort Casino co-workers whom have been named as defendants in the lawsuit have testified that they believe the sex between Roethlisberger and McNulty was consensual. Also, McNulty’s Facebook and e-mail accounts have been subpoenaed. As Adam wrote earlier, those emails are not going to help her case.

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• Jay Glazer will not be bullied by the Boys from Bristol. In fact, the Fox Sports reporter declares, “I wouldn’t mind punching one of these guys!”

• Wonder if Don Ohlmeyer will mention this in his next ESPN ombudsman column.

• The Knicks’ Nate Robinson Tweets about his recent arrest as it happens!

• For finally signing Stephen Strasburg, the Nationals show their gratitude toward interim GM Mike Rizzo by giving him his walking papers.

• Who would you rather name your new high school after - Alonzo Mourning or Janet Reno?

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We’re not here to personally attack Andrea McNulty, the woman who accused Ben Roethlisberger of sexually assaulting her, or to otherwise encourage anything but the utmost of respect for women who have been sexually assaulted and have to make the decision to report the abuse. So often, it’s so hard to prove and such a lightning rod for trouble that many women decide it’s not worth it to pursue any course of justice.

But as the evidence mounts in McNulty’s lawsuit over the alleged sexual assault, it seems more and more clear that if she had been assaulted, it didn’t affect anything she did thereafter. As we mentioned last week, she had been bragging to friends about their encounter and wondering if she were pregnant - though in her defense, she said she was under pressure from her employer, Harrah’s Casino, to cover up any wrongdoing.

But Roethlisberger’s attorneys have just released chats and e-mails from McNulty’s computer, and it keeps getting worse and worse for Andrea.

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From the beginning, this whole Ben Roethlisberger sexual assault lawsuit thing has been a little … strange. There are no criminal charges involved, the accuser’s mental health issues have been made unusually public, and let’s not even get into the whole ESPN embargo thing, which served to blow the whole story out of proportion.

Regardless of the case’s actual merits, the accuser herself, Andrea McNulty, has probably done more harm than good over the past month by chatting up her local newspaper to garner sympathy for her cause. Judges tend to frown on people openly discussing their cases in the media, and if McNulty is truly looking for justice, she should be doing everything in her power to get it - including shutting the hell up until she has her day in court. And yes, Andrea, that would include NOT (allegedly) blabbing to your Harrah’s coworkers about how much you just loved all the Ben-sex you had and just hoped you were going to have his baby.

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And now some more news that will be more or less ignored by ESPN, save for 20 seconds on the early Sunday morning edition of “The Sports Reporters“: The woman who is accusing Ben Roethlisberger of sexual assault is being assaulted once again - this time by phone threats.

Andrea McNulty said she’s received more than 100 harassing phone calls & messages since filing a civil lawsuit against the Steelers QB. I don’t think that what it means to reach out and touch someone.

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So all of you thought that today’s Ben Roethlisberger news wasn’t going to get any weirder, please stand in the corner silently. You do not get a cookie. According to TMZ, the woman who is accusing Roethlisberger of sexual assault has been under psychiatric care after having fallen in love with a soldier in Iraq who never existed. (That sound you hear is defense attorneys jumping into their cars and fleeing). But as the late Billy Mays was fond of saying, that’s not all!

Specifics of the complaint against the Steelers’ quarterback are now surfacing, thanks to NBC.com’s PRO FOOTBALL TALK. Andrea McNulty, the Harrah’s Lake Tahoe hotel employee who is charging Roethlisberger in the civil complaint, says that the two talked about fly fishing the day before he “forced himself” on her in his hotel room. Afterwards, Roethlisberger allegedly told her angrily, “If anyone asks you, you fixed my television. You fixed my television. Now go!” Read more…