Speed Read: Cutler Crappy As Packers Stuff Bears

It’s been a while since the Bears have had a good quarterback. And it’s a shame, considering they’ve had some pretty good teams that were ultimately sabotaged by guys like Jim Miller and Rex Grossman. So we all know what a huge relief it was for the people of Chicago that they finally would have a real, legitimate star under center.

Jay Cutler

So, anyone missing Orton yet? In what is always a monumental game for the Bears, Jay Cutler was Brian Griese-esque as he threw four interceptions in a 21-15 loss to Green Bay at Lambeau Field. The CHICAGO TRIBUNE’s David Haugh says that Cutler wasn’t exactly keeping a cool head while everything crumbled around him:

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Alicia Sacramone Dating Brown FB Benchwarmer

Brown football players don’t exactly get a lot of press. Then again, most of them aren’t dating two-time Olympian and general machine of gymnastic voluptuousness Alicia Sacramone. But there’s always the exception to the rule, and ladies and gentlemen, we now know who the exception to that rule is: defensive back Eric Hunt!

alicia sacramone boyfriend take 2
(Yup. She has a boyfriend, and it’s that dude on the right.)

THE BIG LEAD broke the story, thanks to a tip off from a mutual friend of the couple. Or, perhaps, a former mutual friend of the couple. Who knows whether Sacramone was willing to have her relationship with a guy who has a truly odd-looking shaved head and may or may not have a gap in his teeth revealed. And he has a soul patch. Not that it takes away from her aforementioned voluptuousness, but hey, the guy’s a little weird looking, right?

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Speed Read: Angels GM Doesn’t Want Ramirez

Mark Teixeira is a Yankee. It’s a crushing blow to, well, just about every team outside of New York. The big fish — Red Sox, Angels — wanted him. The little fish — Orioles, Nationals — wanted him even more. Still, if you thought one of those jilted big fish was about to wade back into the pond for another bite, well, think again.

manny ramirez ladies ...

(Neither Manny nor the LADIES… know where he’ll will end up.)

According to Angels GM Tony Reagins, the team was absolutely, positively, never ever interested in moving on from Teixeira to Manny Ramirez. Let’s repeat that: the Angels were never interested in Manny. Wait, let’s just let Reagins do it himself, in this exclusive audio provided by KLAA 830’s THE SPORTS LODGE show:

Tony Reagins: Manny Was Never In Our Plans (audio file)

Yup, you heard that right. The Angels never wanted Manny Ramirez, probably because he’s, well, Manny Ramirez. And that makes him borderline clinically insane. Or retarded. One or the other.

Oh wait, Reagins can tell you that, too:

Tony Reagins: Manny Was Not An Option (audio file)

That’s right, in case you didn’t get the picture, the Angels really, really, really want nothing to do with “Manny Being Manny.” All of which begs the question: Where in God’s name is this guy going to end up? There really aren’t any big market teams interested — the Angels, Mets, and Red Sox (obviously) are all out of the picture. The Cubs and White Sox have absolutely no need for another overpriced outfielder. The Orioles, where Manny loves to hit, say they’re not interested.

So will Manny have to go back to the Dodgers? It’s a real possibility, just because there’s so little competition out there. The Nationals? They claim they aren’t interested, yet that may not be the case now that Ted Lerner has finally been outed by agent Scott Boras as an owner who does, in fact, have bags of money.

Of course, despite losing out on Teixeira, it wasn’t all a bad day for Boston. After all, the Celtics won again. That’s right, Boston won a 19th-straight game. Nineteen in a row. Without a loss. It hasn’t been done since … well, last year, when the Houston Rockets won 22 in a row. (And who stopped Houston’s streak? Yes, the Boston Celtics.) And every team that’s had a streak of 19 or more games has gone on to win the NBA title … except for last year’s Rockets. That’s the kind of stat that’s a little hard to minimize.

kevin garnett pumped

In the past week, as Boston’s winning streak careened past the level of “improbable” into solid “something’s got to give eventually” territory, there was a rush to minimize the accomplishment. “They aren’t playing anyone good,” said one Grinch. “They’re healthy when other teams are banged up!” chimed another. Both are somewhat valid points, but they do little to minimize or trivialize what the Celtics achieved by winning a 19th straight game last night, knocking off Philadelphia 110-91, at T.D. Banknorth Garden.

Perhaps more significant is the way that the Celtics are winning these games. Boston isn’t just beating teams, they’re blowing them out. The Celtics are playing better than they did all of last year en route to the title, yet they insist they can get even better.

That’s more than you can say about Boise State. They finally lost — by a point, a crushing point — to TCU in the Poinsettia Bowl, which might just be the lowest status bowl to ever host a No. 9 vs. No. 11 matchup. Think about it: The Outback Bowl on New Year’s Day has No. 15 vs. No. 20. This was the stinking Poinsettia Bowl. On Dec. 23rd. Amazingly, it was also an incredible game. It might just be the best game of the bowl season that isn’t part of the BCS (for that matter, it might be better than the BCS, too).

  • Remember how Shaquille O’Neal — and then the REAL Shaquille O’Neal — showed up on Twitter one day? Well, evidently he’s not alone among athletes in the new technology. In fact, he’s not nearly as good looking as the newest addition, one Natalie Gulbis. Read her early entries here, via our friends over at RANDBALL.
  • You know, this Devin Harris guy is starting to look pretty good. Just check out the composure. We’ll take one of him and one Brandon Roy in the three-point contest, please.

The beards on Billy Mays‘ wife and kids are totally realistic looking. Admit it, you want one.

Now that Mark Teixeira is a Yankee, who will win the AL East?

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Video: NBA Sixers Cheerleader Falls On Her Head

We’ve all seen those wonderful cheerleader blooper videos. But like posts feature hazing on club rugby teams, lecherous JV girls basketball coaches and John Daly, they’re mostly spent.

Sixers Cheerleader Falls On Head

But here’s a gem from Youtube, just posted, that shows a poor NBA Sixers cheerleader falling on her head. She popped right up after the fall, so she appears to be OK. But just in case, the NFLPA is checking on her and seeing if she wants to jump into their next class action suit against the league. Or Starcaps. Or a video game company. Or something.

Video after the jump. Read more…

Mark Cuban Scolded By SEC For Insider Trading

Mark Cuban’s been caught doing a little trading - of the inside variety.

Mark Cuban Dancing With The Stars

(Let’s see Cuban dance his way out of this one)

Although the SEC is P.O.’ed and his MLB ownership chances are D.O.A., it’s doubtful M.C. will go to J-A-I-L.

• There are ties in the NFL? Donovan McNabb doesn’t believe it! (And neither does Jim Boeheim!)

• The ending of Sunday’s Steelers-Chargers game was a costly one - for bettors or worse.

• The Jacksonville Jaguars may have gone cold, but their mascot is on fire - literally.

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Sacramone Appearance On Dr. 90210 Is Unlikely

Today ran across the photo on the right of Alicia Sacramone.

Alicia Sacramone possible boob job

Does she looks a little, ahem, smaller in that shot than the one of the left? Read more…

SbB Caption Contest: Sacramone. Sauna. Superb!

Hey SbBers! Hope your weekend went well. If those of you in the Midwest could ship some of your snow SoCal’s way, we’d appreciate it. You know, with the wildfires & such. We can’t even tell the smoke from the smog.

Speaking of hot topics, today’s SbB Clever Caption Contest features a very tantalizing & toasty treat. We proudly present straight from the sauna, Alicia Sacramone:

Alicia Sacramone Megan Dowlen sauna

Alicia is laid out on the left, while Megan Dowlen is relaxing on the right.

So, get to the comments section and start captionating. But better keep it fairly clean - any extremely vulgar comments will be deleted.

Winner will be announced in the end-of-the-day recap. And who knows - Alicia might be reading & become so impressed with your work that she’ll hunt you down and give you a big wet kiss on the lips. Or better yet, a punch in the jaw.

Alicia Sacramone Is Ready For Primetime, or 3 a.m.

• Even though the Olympics are over, gymnast Alicia Sacramone is still going for the gold by trying to land a TV gig.

Alicia Sacramone

Gilbert Arenas shows his support for President-Elect Barack Obama by tattooing his fingers.

• A Buffalo sportswriter leaves a high school football game early - by falling down the press box stairs.

• No wonder Texas A&M has been going through a crappy season - their stadium is filled with bat poop.

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Alicia Sacramone Wants Back Inside Your Teevee

The BOSTON HERALD reports that “Olympic gymnast Alicia Sacramone is doing back-flips trying to land a TV gig to showcase her love of fashion and design.

Alicia Sacramone & Nastia Liukin in bikinis

The Herald has the intimate details of Sacramone’s quest to land a reality show, which include a “sort of test reel - for Bravo, A & E, Style and MTV.

Alicia Sacramone Punch

You thinking what I’m thinking? I think we have potential for a serious trainwreck reality show on our hands, considering the famewhore that Sacramone has turned out to be. But I doubt we’ll ever see Alicia back on the little screen, if her “reel” is any indication. Read more…

Chris Cooley Sorry For Showing Special Little Guy

Chris Cooley is sorry for accidentally posting pics of his penis online - but not as sorry as we are for seeing it.

Chris Cooley short shorts

(OK, last shot we’ll show of Chris Cooley in short shorts - we promise)

• Turns out DeSean Jackson’s penchant for celebrating TDs prematurely is nothing new.

• Meanwhile, Tony Kornheiser celebrates NFL Hispanic Heritage Month in his own special linguistic way.

Lane Kiffin is still the Raiders’ coach (as of this writing). But if Al Davis does ditch him, Lane could secure employment in Syracuse.

• Maybe Charger fans can take some small consolation knowing that ref Ed Hochuli has been downgraded by the NFL.

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