• The FLORIDA TIMES-UNION serves up news that Maria Sharapova is back in championship form, as she wins her first-ever title on clay.

And Maria’s prize - a lovely crystal 7-11 Big Gulp cup, good for one free refill.

• Speaking of a dirtier kind of Clay - with the Sonics having possibly played their last game in Key Arena, NOTTEN THIS LIFE looks to see where most Seattle fans fall in the Five Stages of Grief.

• Darren Rovell of CNBC has an idea who Derrick Rose’s NBA agent will be - and it’s not LeBron’s bud.

• USA TODAY’s GAME ON combs through their 5 favorite NHL playoff beards.

Read more…

STEPHEN A. SMITH SOCKED BY FANS’ SILLY CINEMATICS: FAN IQ finds a fun video made at the NBA Draft featuring ESPN analyst Stephen A. Smith - in sock puppet form!

A group billing itself as “The Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society of Gentlemen” came to the Big Apple to take a bite out of His Quite Frankness, via a dingy sock puppet.

The laundry-day escapee called out his cotton-mouthed comments to the draftees as they escaped down a corridor. Some of the grandiose gems:

To Al Horford: “Some people say you’re the best forward since Slava Medvedenko!”

“Why hasn’t my praise changed your life, Brandon Wright?”

“Because he’s been such a man of the people, and because his hair is so long, I hereby dub thee Joakim Noah, the People’s Princess!”

“I’m Stephen A. Smith! Every thing I say is important!”

The video also has a little bonus at the end, starring another member of the Worldwide Leader’s crew:

That would be Stuart Scott checking out his new ESPN Mobile - or maybe placing a booty call.

Booty-yah!