Mom: Cops Thought MLB Son Was Pacman Jones

While traveling with the team to Toronto on Thursday, Baltimore Orioles outfielder Adam Jones was reportedly detained at the Toronto airport for 10 hours.

Adam Jones Mom Reveals He Was Mistaken For Pacman Jones At Canadian Border

While he was in custody, Jones Tweeted that he was “detained by immigration in canada for no false accusations till 5am and appreciate someone from the team making sure were ok NOOOOOOTTTTT.”

After Jones was cleared by Border officials to enter Canada, he Tweeted, “last 10 hours have been a blast…yaaaaay. time to sleep off the bull.

Jeff Zrebiec of the BALTIMORE SUN reports Friday that before the Orioles played the Blue Jays on Friday, “Jones said he wasn’t sure if he was mistaken for Cincinnati Bengals cornerback Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones, who has faced multiple legal issues. But Jones’ mother, Andrea Bradley, made that claim on her Facebook page.

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Speed Read: Oregon, Boise Trade Musical Barbs

For a lot of us, tonight is like Christmas, your birthday and finding your Dad’s stash of Swank Magazines when you were 12 all rolled into one: college football starts tonight. And unlike most opening week mismatches, tonight’s marquee match-up should be a doozy, with Pac-10 dark horse Oregon braving possible blindness from the Smurf Turf and the color-coordinated fans to America’s underdog, the Boise State Broncos (current listed as a 3.5-point favorite).

Jeremiah Masoli

But this isn’t just a compelling game between two Top 25 teams with big aspirations. No, these two teams (in my best Jim Ross drawl) Just Plain Don’t Like Each Other, especially after last season’s win by Boise State that featured two Broncos getting ejected and Oregon QB Jeremiah Masoli getting KOed by a cheap shot while attempting his first pass of the game. Here’s some video if you want to judge for yourself:

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Speed Read: Another Ivanovic Bust At U.S. Open

Back in January 2008, the Australian Open finals featured Ana Ivanovic and Maria Sharapova in one of the most eagerly-anticipated women’s tennis matches ever. Sharapova won the match, but it seemed like the sport was set for one of the hottest - in every sense of the world - rivalries in recent memories.

Ana Ivanovic

Now flash forward to last night. While a Bedazzled Sharapova (more on that in a minute) started her comeback from shoulder surgery with an easy straight set win over Tsvetana Pironkova, Ivanovic continued her freefall into oblivion by getting bounced by unheralded Kateryna Bondarenko. That makes a tidy zero titles for Ivanovic this year and no appearances past the fourth round in any major - and another early round exit from the U.S. Open after last year’s shocking loss to Julie Coin in the second round.

Ana Ivanovic Topless Photo

(Ana Ivanovic in happier times…for everyone)

It’s not just that Ivanovic lost - at times, she looked absolutely lost, seemingly unable to do something as simple as throw the ball into the air correctly during her serves. Call it the tennis equivalent of Rick Ankiel’s pitching yips, although more attractive to watch if just as awkward. Ivanovic took to burying her head in a towel during changeovers, which is probably what a lot of fans wanted to do after watching her stumble to defeat.

Maria Sharapova

Meanwhile, Sharapova was confident and poised in her easy victory. Her tennis game looked great, while her outfit … let’s just say it looked like something you might have seen in a teen dance competition in Sioux City, Iowa, in 1987. And not to go Mr. Blackwell on your here, but honey, Cher called from 1975 and she wants her beaded headband back. Unless you are planning on belting out a rousing version of “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves” after winning your next match - in that case, it’s all yours.

Sharapova said that her outfit was “inspired by the architecture of New York.” Which is a perfect transition to talk about one of the other great metropolises of the Americans: Saskatoon. Because FACEOFF.COM says that one of the bidders for the Phoenix Coyotes has already booked five dates at the Credit Union Centre (the Madison Square Garden of Saskatchewan) to hold games there if they get the team next season.

Downtown Saskatoon

(There really is nothing quite like Saskatoon in December…)

Which leads to the question: what other events would possibly be happening in Saskatoon so you would need to save the date? A quick look at the Credit Union Centre event schedule shows a lot of minor league hockey…and not much else. Somehow I think that the arena would be willing to postpone the Saskatoon Blades vs. Moose Jaw Warriors showdown for an NHL game.

A partner for Ice Edge Holdings said that the team would be playing most of its games in Phoenix and not moving to Saskatoon permanently, which is too bad: it would be great to see NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman get an involuntary eye twitch every time he tries to explain how having a team in Saskatoon is good for the league.

Finally, Adrian Beltre returned to the Seattle Mariners last night after learning a valuable lesson about wearing a cup while playing third base on August 14 - as in “for the love of all things good and holy, wear one!” You might remember that Beltre thought his testicle had “exploded” after taking a scorching drive to the crotch.

Adrian Beltre nutcracker

After sitting out a few weeks (and probably getting some counseling for his lingering trauma issues), Beltre was back, and the Mariners decided to have a little fun at his expense. Ken Griffey Jr. had said he had the “perfect” music for Beltre’s first at-bat, and the person in charge of the songs being played over the PA delivered. Our own Scott Sepich was at the game, so I’ll pass along what he relayed to me:

“I was at the Mariners-Angels game tonight, and in Adrian Beltre’s first at-bat since coming off the DL, the music they played for him when he came to the plate was the “Nutcracker Suite.” A few of us in the press box caught on, but I’m not sure that the crowd got it. I thought it was pretty brilliant.”

Brilliant, indeed. In case you need further proof, the SEATTLE TIMES game blog not only mentions the musical cue but has audio of it as well. While I find it ironic that Ken Griffey Jr. - a man who once suffered a season-ending groin injury while fielding a fly ball - thinks that Beltre’s situation is hilarious. But it was a good choice of music, certainly more subtle than what I would have selected.

  • SPORTS HERNIA seems to think that David Wright’s new mega-helmet makes him look like Dark Helmet or The Great Gazoo. Personally, I think that he should be paying royalty money to Mark Kelso for infringing on his “dorky guy in a giant helmet” trademark.
  • David Wright

  • If there was one team in the NFL that had to be screwing the fans over by selling tickets directly to scalpers, it had to be the Washington Redskins, right? Too bad they can’t do the same thing with Six Flags tickets to prop up sales numbers.
  • Your nightly NFLPA train wreck update: the Department of Justice is confirming that they are investigating collusion claims by the union’s former HR director. She says that former player representative Troy Vincent had illegal meetings with Roger Goodell and Texas owner Robert McNair where he divulged classified information. Troy Vincent had a trouble keeping information private? That sounds strangely familiar.
  • Ladies, Rafael Nadal is playing at the U.S. Open in see-through shorts. Why can’t we get this technology in the women’s side of things (except for Serena Williams)?
  • Sometimes being a”football hero” takes on a different connotation: Kaleb Eulls, a star player at Yazoo High in Mississippi who has committed to Mississippi State, is being praised after disarming a 14-year-old girl who pulled out a loaded semi-automatic weapon on a full school bus.
  • Former Kentucky basketball star Edward Davender has been arrested as part of a ticket scalping scam involving Wildcats basketball tickets. If convicted, he could be sentenced to work for the Washington Redskins.
  • Adam “Pac-Man” Jones and Charles Rogers on the same CFL football team? Can someone please tell me how I can get Winnipeg Blue Bombers games on TV here in the lower 48?
  • Andy Roddick is less than thrilled with the U.S. Open trying to clamp down on players Twittering because they are concerned about players giving up “inside information.” Roddick’s retort (via Twitter): “you would seriously have to be a moron to send ‘inside info’ through a tweet.”
  • Anheuser-Busch plans to switch sports advertising tactics, targeting specific beer brands with demographics based on major sports. Bud Light to be linked to the NFL, while Budweiser will feature heavily in MLB advertising. No word on if Natural Ice will now be the Official Beer of Competitive Binge Drinking.
  • If they are going to start sending people to jail for 30 days for socking an opposing coach at a baseball game for 8-year-olds and then swinging a bat at people trying to break it up, then I just don’t know what baseball is anymore.

Best song for a player returning from a “bruised testicle”:

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Speed Read: NL Weaker Than Obama’s First Pitch

If MLB and Fox executives are wondering why no one watches the All-Star Game anymore, here’s Exhibit A: the winning run for the AL in their 4-3 victory over the NL was driven in by an eighth-inning sacrifice fly from Adam Jones of the Baltimore Orioles, a name that resonates with a thud among all but the most die-hard baseball fans. And the person he scored was the Tigers’ Curtis Granderson, who can be politely called “slightly more well-known than Adam Jones.”

Adam Jones

To put it mildly, if the All-Star Game was a weekly series, it would be on the verge of cancellation by now. Especially after TV critics would have inevitably slammed it for its lack of imagination and formulaic structure. Yes, we get it - the AL is always going to win. Can’t we just have a twist on that every once in a while? (And not the shoddy “Who’s Going to Pitch?” cliffhanger that Bud Selig and company cooked up a few years ago.)

Barack Obama

After 13 years of not seeing the National League win, it’s not surprising that people just aren’t that interested anymore. But there was an attempt to spice things up this year by bringing in a big-game star for a special guest appearance: President Barack Obama. After warming up with Albert Pujols in the batting cages before the game, Obama took the mound and delivered a pitch that was about as effective as his pitch for the bank bailout.

I’ll leave it to WIDE WHITE to give a breakdown of Obama’s pitch as it relates to his policies, but suffice it to say that it was neither great nor awful. He should just be thankful that Pujols was there to make a great pick to keep the ball from hitting the dirt. (And that was Pujols’ best play of the night, since he went 0-for-3 before the hometown crowd.)

The game MVP was Tampa Bay’s Carl Crawford, not so much for what he did at the plate but for his actions in the field, most notably his catch that robbed Brad Hawpe of what would have been a go-ahead home run in the seventh. And the NL can’t blame the loss on the AL being fired up because of Ichiro Suzuki’s notoriously profanity-laden pregame pep talks - President Obama’s visit to the clubhouses took up so much time that he didn’t get to give one.

Speaking of Ichiro, he took some time out of his schedule on Monday to visit the grave of George Sisler, whose record for hits in a season he broke in 2004. It was a nice touch, except for the fact that instead of bringing flowers or a wreath, Ichiro just swore at Sisler’s grave for 15 minutes straight until being escorted away by cemetary workers. Oh well, I guess it’s the thought that counts.

While MLB was playing a game that no one really cares about, the NBA is knee-deep in something arguably more exciting and definitely more important: free-agency. The main story right now is what will happen to Lamar Odom, and the saga took another turn last night as the Lakers have pulled their three-year deal worth $9 million off the table. The reason? Owner Jerry Buss is upset that Odom’s people haven’t responded to the offer while continuing to negotiate with the Mavericks and Heat.

Lamar Odom

But there’s another free-agency drama going on that is a little more below the radar screen, but just as fascinating. The Portland Trailblazers have made a four-year, $32 million offer sheet to promising young Utah forward Paul Millsap, who is a restricted free agent. That means that the Jazz have until the end of the week to match the offer and keep Millsap on the team.

The problem is that Millsap’s offer from the Trailblazers includes an immediate cash payout of $10.3 million, which Utah would also have to do if they match the offer sheet. And apparently, the cash isn’t flowing through the streets of Salt Lake as readily as Mormon children, since the Jazz ownership would likely have to take out a short-term bank loan to get the deal approved. (Portland doesn’t have that problem, since $10.6 million is vending machine money to billionaire owner Paul Allen.)

Not only does this make me question the solvency of the Utah ownership group, but it also makes me wonder how the whole loan process would go down. Would they have to wait in line at the bank before getting seated at one of those tables out in the lobby. What would they have to put up as collateral - Jerry Sloan? It simply boggles the mind.

Other sports news:

  • It turns out that with 22 points, WNBA star Diana Taurasi outscored her blood alcohol level the night she was arrested for a DUI - barely, as the AP reports that she’s been charged with an “Extreme DUI” after her blood alcohol level was shown to be 0.17 percent - twice the legal limit in Arizona.
  • Speaking of the WNBA, they announced their All-Star Game starters yesterday. No word on if Michelle Obama will be there for the traditional “First Fundamentally Sound Screen” of the game, or if they’ll get “stuck” with Hillary Clinton.
  • One thing you might not have seen at the All-Star Game (other than the National League hitting the ball) was a lot of black players. The PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER floats one reason why: the lack of strong black male role models in the inner cities makes it tough to find coaches for organized games.
  • The WALL STREET JOURNAL gives us an “Unofficial Guide to Life as a Ref” while wondering why NFL refs make so much for working one game a week.
  • With all the talk about Tiger Woods taking on Turnberry this week, there’s one thing that should be noted: Padraig Harrington is going after his third freakin’ straight British Open title. USA TODAY says it might be difficult since he’s completely changed his swing from last year.
  • The World Series of Poker Main Event is down to the final three tables, and poker celebrity/Norman Chad man crush Phil Ivey is still very much in the hunt, standing at fourth place with more than 11 million chips. Antonio “The Magician” Esfandiari is also alive as they play down to the final table tomorrow.
  • Bud Selig calls claims of collusion to drive down the price of free agentssome make-believe scenario that doesn’t exist.” Right, because MLB would never get involved in collusion.
  • ESPN goes a different route and hires former NBC President Don Ohlmeyer as their new ombudsman. His first call: hiring his good friend O.J. Simpson to replace Bill Simmons as “The Sports Guy.”
  • Anthony Randolph notched his name in Las Vegas NBA Summer League history by tying the single-game scoring record by putting up 42 in the Warriors’ victory over the Bulls. Something tells me you won’t find any pictures of him posing with a basketball with “42″ written on it.
  • While sports talk radio is struggling elsewhere, it seems to be alive and well in Boston, where legendary rock station WBCN in being pulled off the air and replaced by the city’s third all-sports station.

Which remaining free agent is worth the most money?

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Jets Interested In Pacman, Have Severe Amnesia

When we last left Adam “Pacman” Jones, he was appearing on Pros Vs. Joes, admirably not making an ass of himself, and talking about hosting a, um, fishing show. “I make it rain on them trout!” So is this the peaceful end of the Pacman Jones Era? Is this how he fades into Bolivian?

Adam Pacman Jones footballs
(Jones, seen here moments after being ejected from a strip club for “making it hail,” or basically just winging footballs at the strippers.)

Erm, no. According to FANHOUSE,  the New York Jets have expressed interest in bringing in the cornerback/punt returner back to the NFL. And we’ve got to say, this idea is just crazy enough to… be crazy.

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Speed Read: Dennis Rodman and the Four Dwarfs

Dennis Rodman and a bunch of dwarfs - it sounds like the recipe for the type of awful, Felliniesque nightmare that makes you wake up sweating and shaking at 3 a.m. and causes your double up your Xanax prescription and call your therapist in a panic. (I mean, theoretically, not me, but someone else…) But it’s actually the cast of a movie called “The Minis”- which really got made. On actual film. With a budget of $5 million.

Dennis Rodman and The Minis

The plot? Rodman teams up with four dwarfs - please, don’t call them midgets - to enter a prestigious basketball tournament in Venice Beach. Which, if you think about it, is the sort of headline that you wouldn’t bat an eye at if you read it on a blog. As you can see in the trailer, the movie is filled with “comedy,” “inspiration” and “acting”:

Stirring, huh? And since we are your source for all news relating to Dennis Rodman and dwarfs (as you would expect), we were able to speak last night with one of the stars of the film, Caroline Macey, who plays Natalia, the gold digging girlfriend of one of the dwarfs who also is obsessed with cows. (That, folks, is what we call in the industry “character development.”) To summarize some of the high points:

  • When she auditioned, the casting director was on her knees to simulate the feeling of acting with a little person. (I understand this happens when they cast Tom Cruise movies as well.)
  • The movie was written with Dennis Rodman specifically in mind. As was “Gran Torino,” from what I hear, but he had to back out due to a scheduling conflict, forcing Clint Eastwood to step in at the last minute.
  • Apparently, Rodman was “very sweet” and “pleasant on the set.” Except when he thought one of his co-stars was in the way of one of the shots, and he drop-kicked him through the hoop. (That’s a lie: anyone who saw Rodman play in the NBA knows there’s no way he could make a basket outside of two feet.)
  • It’s Italian! Of course it is: see my Fellini comment earlier. And really, I’d recommend watching it dubbed in Italian with English subtitles to get the authetic flavor of the project.

I know what you’re thinking: “This sounds great! But if only there was a way to bring the humor and excitement of ‘The Minis’ home with meas some sort of video game.” Well, it turns out that you are in luck: there is one. I can’t vouch if it’s as good of a movie-to-video game crossover as “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” or not, but you can check out the trailer to find out more yourself:

Meanwhile, in actual basketball news: the way the Boston Celtics are playing, Dennis Rodman and a team of dwarfs might stand a fighting chance. OK, that’s probably an exaggeration,  but it’s pretty clear that their early season magic is long gone. Last night they suffered their sixth loss in eight games, this time an 89-85 defeat at home against the Houston Rockets.

Cavaliers rookie JJ Hickson

They now find themselves 1 1/2 games back of the Cavaliers for the best record in the NBA, and judging by Cleveland’s 111-81 rout of the Hornets, I would venture to say that the Cavaliers are ready for their big showdown with the Celtics on Friday. Boston can’t see out of it’s eye - you gotta cut them and make them bleed, Mickey!

In other news that happened while…screw it. I mean, Dennis Rodman and basketball playing dwarfs. Come on!

  • Unlike the Celtics, the Lakers were able to bounce back from a shocking defeat, although the LOS ANGELES TIMES notes that it came down to the final minute against the hapless Golden State Warriors. Meanwhile, Pau Gasol is looking more and more like a homeless person every day:
  • Pau Gasol of the Lakers

  • I know that in the era of free agency, we shouldn’t be shocked at anyone wearing any uniform at any time. But it’s going to be weird seeing John Smoltz in a Boston Red Sox uniform at Fenway, right? The ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION has all the details.
  • The FORT WORTH STAR-TELEGRAM reports that Adam Jones gets cut by the Dallas Cowboys after ESPN airs footage of his involvement of a strip club shooting in Atlanta in 2007. Hopefully, he can go back to Pacman when he lands with the Toronto Argonauts.
  • The COLORADO SPRINGS GAZETTE notes that Home Depot has ended its program with the US Olympic Committee which gave jobs to aspiring athletes while they trained in their events. And get me some vinyl siding while you’re at it, Rulon!
  • CAN’T STOP THE BLEEDING checks in on Chris Russo’s Year in Movies wrap-up, and it doesn’t sound like Peter Travers of Rolling Stone should be quaking in his boots any time soon.
  • PRO FOOTBALL TALK says that media sources in Cleveland aren’t exactly thrilled about Eric Mangini coming to town - one person says that “he is atrocious with the media – the worst – and has so many rules that make it hard to do our jobs.
  • The MENLO PARK ALMANAC touches base with the story of two players from the title winning Menlo-Atherton High football team who were arrested and charged with mugging a skateboarder and taking his iPod Touch.
  • Darren Rovell of CNBC notes that despite the economy, college football assistant coaches are seeing their salaries reach unprecedented heights this season.
  • As you get ready for the glut of Super Bowl ads, UNCOACHED breaks down the Top 10 All-Time Classic Miller Lite commercials. Joe Piscopo? Never not funny.
  • Finally, the AP has an urgent APB: State College, PA police are on the lookout for Joe Paterno’s stolen, Coke-bottle glasses. Not actually his, but from the seven-foot statue outside of Beaver Stadium. Police believe the lead suspect is a giant, seven-foot tall Elvis Costello statue.

Who is the worst athlete-turned-actor of all time?

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Titans DE Guarantees Team Will Lose This Year

It’s a well-known tradition that players don’t admit they’re looking ahead to the playoffs even when they have a large lead on the division, instead settling for the time-tested phrase “we’re taking it one game at a time”. So you know the Titans aren’t going to get ahead of themselves by talking about the perfect season. But defensive end Kyle Vanden Bosch’s guarantee that they’re definitely going to lose a game this year might be taking it too far.

Kyle Vanden Bosch

(Vanden Boschtradamus?)

The key quote comes from an interview Vanden Bosch gave with FOX SPORTS on Friday. When asked about the Titans chances to go 16-0, he cut off the interviewer right away: “We’re going to lose a game.” And this Bears fan hopes that games comes tomorrow.

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The $83 Million Question: Is Kobe Going Greek?

Pacman Unplugged Again, High Score Reset To 0

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell suspended troubled Cowboys cornerback Adam Jones for at least 4 games on Tuesday.  The move follows his alcohol-induced fight with a bodyguard on Oct. 8 in a Dallas hotel.  The suspension could last longer depending on his behavior, which we’re all sure will improve this time.


(Mr. Jones doesn’t just have issues, he has a lifetime subscription)

According to

The decision on whether Jones can return to play this season will be based on his strict compliance with his NFL and Cowboys treatment plans as well as on evaluations of Jones’ progress that will be provided to Goodell by clinical experts retained by the NFL.

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