ESPN Brings You The Future Of Football…In 3-D!

Not to sound ungrateful for all that we’ve got got, but man - the 21st century was supposed to be so much cooler than it’s actually turning out. When we were growing up we were promised a future of shiny one-piece bodysuits and flying cars. Yet, here we are wearing a polo shirt and jeans, driving a Saturn. They couldn’t even give us entire meals in pill form; we’re still forced to eat astronaut ice cream any time we want a taste of the future as seen from 1969.

Tressel in 3-D!

That’s not to say the scientists of the world aren’t making progress. Though the flying car remains an elusive figment of the imagination, air travel now features the same amenities and excitement as a Greyhound bus. And while Holodeck technology remains pitifully behind schedule, the news that ESPN is producing 3-D broadcasts of college football gives us hope that shiny one-piece bodysuits won’t be far behind.

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USC FB In Hot Water Over Coaching “Consultants”

Much has been written about the unique personality of USC Trojans head coach Pete Carroll. We know he takes walks through the ghetto in the middle of the night, hands out his cell phone number to random people on the street, and believes in the power of Twitter and positive thinking in order to WIN FOREVER. He’s an unorthodox man whose smile can brighten up all of southern California and whose personality is powerful enough to build a college football powerhouse.

Pete Carroll

But one thing Pete Carroll cannot do is hire “consultants” to circumvent NCAA limitations on coaching hires. This, however, is exactly what the NCAA alleges that he did last season when he hired veteran NFL coach Pete Rodriguez to “consult” his special teams units and report back to the head coach. That, not coincidentally, is exactly what a coach does. And it’s why they’re in a bit of a pickle.

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