Jose Canseco To Fight Rodney King. No, Honestly

There is a part of us that wants to believe Jose Canseco and take him seriously. He was right about A-Rod using steroids and right about Manny Ramirez using them. If you want to see what blackballing looks like, check out Canseco and the way the sport and its press treat him.

Jose Canseco Rodney King

(Just a reminder: a horrific beating at the hands of the LAPD is literally the only reason you know who Canseco’s opponent is.)

But with “Jose Canseco, Oracle of Steroids” also comes “Jose Canseco, Comically Tragic Sideshow,” unfortunately. And the problem with having no sense of decency is that making money becomes a matter of shocking people into paying attention. How would one accomplish that, you might ask? Oh, how about a fistfight with the guy whose only claim to fame is being the victim of an assault that led to the L.A. Race Riots? Because that’s actually seriously happening.

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Let’s All Eat Something That’s Designed To Kill Us

Eating contests are gross enough, but the competitors are horking down too much of something that’s at least meant to be edible. Then you’ve got the stinging nettle, a plant that’s grown tiny spines to avoid being eaten. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the World Stinging Nettle Eating Championship!

Stinging Nettles

Taking place yesterday in England (of course), this competition has been growing in size every year since it began as a bar bet (of course). And if the tiny daggers stabbing the inside of your throat wasn’t bad enough, try dealing with bright green feces for days. Because I hate you, I bring you video, after the jump.

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