US Cyclist Tests Positive Again, Promptly Retires

Tyler Hamilton, who is to Lance Armstrong what Scottie Pippen was to Michael Jordan, has tested positive again in another drug test, this time for the banned steroid DHEA. After hiding the news for a month, including claiming “bronchitis” when dropping out of a race, the cyclist has decided to retire from the sport at the tender age of 38.

Tyler Hamilton and Lance Armstrong

(Addendum to racing jersey: never give up unless the pee’s tainted)

This comes after being caught doping his blood with super-oxygenated blood from another person in 2004, and paying $50,000 to a Spanish doctor for a farmer’s market of doping materials and sending the bill to his wife. So why did he take DHEA? (Though we would also accept “Why stop now?”)

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