Video: Tyreke Evans Might Consider Hiring Driver

Tyreke Evans at the Bobby Jackson Foundation Celebrity Golf Tournament in Sacramento on Monday showed that his driving ability is still suspect.

Tyreke Evans Golf Video

Don’t be fooled. If his highway driving is any indication, Evans is just testing the wind for the drag coefficient.
Read more…

Cleveland Rocks: Suns Send Shaq To LeBronland

Shaq will be lacing ‘em up with LeBron on a more continual basis, as the Big Cactus becomes the newest member of the Cavaliers.

LeBron Shaq

Rodney Harrison is sick of the whole Brett Favre brouhaha, too.

• Boston sure loves their Rajon Rondo - well, everyone except Celtics GM Danny Ainge.

• An Oklahoma mom is sentenced to 5 years in prison for attacking a high school cheerleading coach with a stun gun.

• Your next tennis hottie to shed some clothing for a magazine shoot: Belarusian babe Victoria Azarenka.

Read more…

Tyreke Evans Can Drive… But He Doesn’t Shoot

In the various American professional leagues’ amateur drafts, attention is paid to both physical and personal characteristics. The NFL is generally thought of as the most egregious offender in overanalysis of prospects, to the point where the 49ers reportedly ruled Matt Stafford out for not being open enough about his parents’ divorce or something.

Drive By Shooting
(Not the right way to get into the NBA, you’d think.)

The NBA’s got its horror stories too, like Arizona prospect Chase Budinger being questioned about whether he had some side action going on (seriously, even if Budinger had three different girls to get down with, would that really affect his draft status? Should it?). Curiously, Tyreke Evans, a medium-to-high lottery pick, doesn’t seem to have been hampered by what would seem to be a relatively major red flag: complicity in a drive-by shooting.

Read more…

Speed Read: Broncos Done Foolin’ with Jay Cutler

Jay Cutler has moved from snit fit to full-on martyrdom and Denver Broncos owner Pat Bowlen has chosen to accommodate the young quarterback and search for a trade partner, thus saving Broncos fans from competency at the quarterback position.

Jay Cutler Broncos

(Sign language is still communication, right?)

Chris Simms will stand as the only vaguely quarterback-like substance on the roster, pending trade returns, after Cutler and his agent would not even return text messages for ten days (or so claimed by the Broncos organization).

While this seems superficially about placating the petulant, it would be disastrous to employ the Marcel Marceau of quarterbacks this fall if he continues his silent ways. There would be no playcalling, no leadership, and no franchise-polishing post-game quotes. For that, the Broncos could just look up Joey Harrington.

Also abandoning ship: just about every recruit formerly headed to the University of Memphis. John Calipari’s move to the University of Kentucky has most recruits for next year’s class eying the escape clause in their letters of intent that lets them wiggle free if Calipari squirms out as well.

John Calipari

(The Sweet’n'Low is also coming with him to Lexington)

With Tyreke Evans already on his way to the NBA and everyone else on the team either graduating or looking for a new school, the University of Memphis basketball team may have to outfit the equipment manager, three physical education majors, and Marc Cohn himself.

(Sure, Cohn only has one move, but he closes out every night with it.)

And now join us for a hail of bullets on the day each year the entire Internet is racked with inaccuracies, tall tales, and outright lies (and actually admits it) as we remember how the pros handle this tomfoolery

Bemidji, MN Paul Bunyan and Babe

Ron Artest at a Britney Spears concert

Jay Cutler’s next home will be…

View Results