Dooley: Cliche Movie Nazis, Vols Somehow Alike

When he isn’t thinking of ways to be fired as quickly as possible, Tennessee football coach Derek Dooley is regaling the press with - what else? - light and lively Nazi war stories.

Derek Dooley: Nazi War Historian

(Movie Nazis Yes, Real Nazis No.)

At a press conference today, Dooley compared the conduct of his Tennessee players in a 41-10 loss to Alabama Saturday to a hopelessly cliched portrayal of Nazi soldiers at the D-Day invasion in 1944.

Text of Dooley’s comments is below:

“Right now we’re like the Germans in World War II. Here comes the boats, they’re coming. You have the binoculars, and it’s like, ‘Oh, my God, the invasion is coming.’ That’s what they did, they were in the bunkers. It’s coming, they call (Generalfeldmarschall Erwin) Rommel — they can’t find Rommel. (Pretending to speak into a radio.) ‘What do we do? I’m not doing anything until I get orders.’ (Pretends to look through binoculars.) ‘Have you gotten Rommel yet?’

“All right, and the Americans were the exact opposite. We hit the beach, and we were on the wrong spot. ‘What do we do? I don’t know, but these guys are firing and we better hide over there and blow some stuff up to get up there.’ They weren’t looking for (help). That’s where we’ve got to make that transition.

“I don’t want the German people to get upset at me. I’m not attacking them, but that’s what happened. You had one group, they weren’t worried about what the plan was and orders and all that. When the war hits, things change. You’ve got to go.

You had the other group, and they go, ‘Wait a minute. They told us the invasion was way further north’ where we had the empty tanks and we were hiding Patton out. ‘We weren’t ready for this, now what do we do?’ ‘We better wait until Rommel tells us what to do.’

“I hope I got my names right.”

So we’ve got Dooley’s version of the comportment of Nazi soldiers at Normandy. Great.

As much as I’d like to take the rookie Tennessee football coach’s word for it, just for fun let’s take a look at an official U.S. Department of the Navy report on the Normandy invasion published by 1st Lt. F.A. Robert C. Dart on March 28, 1947.

The report includes details from the,”interrogation of Vizeadmiral Friedrich Ruge and Generalleutnant Dihm concerning Generalfeldmarschall Rommel and the preparation of German defenses prior to the Normandy Invasion.

During his interrogation, Generalleutnant Dihm, who was charged by Rommel to oversee “the work on coastal defenses” at Normandy, explained why the Germans were unable to repel the invasion: Read more…