• GOING FIVE HOLE is glad that the Penguins won Monday night, so they can continue with their Sidney Crosby Playoff Beard Watch.

• WITH LEATHER tosses along fun video of an acrobatic throw-in resulting in a face full of soccer ball.

• When it comes to the ladies, Shannon Owens of the ORLANDO SENTINEL wants to know who’s the bigger player - Derek Jeter or Lance Armstrong.

• PRO FOOTBALL TALK changes channels, as former HBO stalwart “Inside The NFL” will soon be showing up on Showtime.

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Poor museums. They have to grit their teeth and pretend Titanic and Star Wars are real reasons to have museum tours because they help pay the bills while actual museum work occurs behind the scenes or in little-visited sideshows. And if you’re not in a major metropolitan area with corporate and private money to support you… well, vaya con Dios, friend.

Therefore, we understand building the first official shrine to Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh Penguin and cult figure, at such a young age in the Nova Scotia Sport Hall of Fame. Still, do we need a place to congregate and kneel in front of “memorabilia from his childhood, the famous dryer and a visual presentation of his first 20 years”?The answer, obviously, is yes.
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Starting June 19th, hockey fans finally have a way to salve their offseason withdrawal pain: a hockey-themed soap opera. Hockey widows can help their spouses reintegrate into society by sitting with them for ten episodes of SoapNet’s “MVP: The Secret Lives of Hockey Wives” (a working title, thankfully), delving deeply into the gripping drama of hockey players’ lives.

(Go on; we’re listening now, SoapNet)

The HOLLYWOOD REPORTER rewords the press release so:

“The hourlong series will focus on the shocking scandals of hockey players — who are living the life of instant wealth, excess and tabloid celebrity — with their girlfriends and wives joining the ride.”

Oh, heavens yes. Those tabloids are always harassing those poor hockey players with their paparazzi and their haranguing questions. However shall they handle their meteoric rise to stardom!

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Picture a man, battered and beaten. He has spent the third period of a National Hockey League contest as the silhouetted man in an impressive round of target practice from the locked and loaded Pittsburgh Penguins, filling him full of rubber puck shot in the last dozen minutes. His ragged breathing and soaked sweater betray his efforts to push the game to extra time. He finally nears the end of the period and has warded off the last volley from the Penguins battery…

…only to have his own rookie defenseman jam the puck behind him for the game-winning goal with 28 seconds left. Tough day, Cristobal Huet.
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• THE BIG LEAD has the photo find of the year (ok, maybe not) of Kim Kardashian (bottom - of course - item):

• MISTER IRRELEVANT introduces us to the Washington Wizards’ “White Hole“ (no, it’s not Marion Berry’s nasal cavity).

• The NEW YORK POST has a sign the Yanks are about to move:

• WITH LEATHER reveals Roy Jones’ resistance at wearing a Ron Paul tattoo for his fight tonight against Felix Trinidad.

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