• 100% INJURY RATE wonders what the holy hell is up with a columnist who believes Shaun Alexander can’t get a job because he’s too Christian.

• Kevin Seifert of ESPN discovers the Vikings’ Kenechi Udeze is getting some brotherly help in his fight against leukemia.

• Minda of the LADIES… takes us on a Royal three-day adventure around Kauffman Stadium. Sadly, she didn’t partake in any KC BBQ during her trip. For shame!

• Eddie Sefko of the DALLAS MORNING NEWS calls in word that Shaq’s anti-Kobe rap is now available as a cell phone ring tone.

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In a quick turn of events, Seahawk fans will now be forced to find something new to complain about. Current whipping boy, Shaun Alexander, was released today.

(I can still keep my wife, right?)

That’s right, just 2 years after winning league MVP and leading Seattle to the Super Bowl, Alexander finds himself looking for a job. Bones made of peanut brittle seem to have that effect. Read more…

If Chad Johnson doesn’t want to play for Cincinnati, then the Bengals are making sure he won’t play for anyone else.

ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reports that the team turned down a trade offer from the Washington Redskins for the disgruntled receiver. In exchange for Johnson, the ‘Skins were willing to give Cincy their first-round pick for this year’s draft and a potential first-round selection in next year’s draft.

But coach Marvin Lewis maintained that the Bengals were not going to bid adios to Ocho Cinco anytime soon:

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Mike Sando of ESPN.com’s HASHMARKS plucks this comment from a Redskins.com interview with new Washington coach Jim Zorn:

“To watch Clinton Portis and the strain for the extra yard, it can fire you right up. I think he has excellent vision and he seems to be disciplined moving in the hole. He is probably the idea of an every-down back. We did not do that in Seattle. We did not have that every-down back in Seattle. We had to piece and put and kind of makeshift situations with plays. Clinton Portis is the kind of guy that you can have in and pass protect, can have in and run the ball.”

Former Seattle assistant Zorn scores a direct hit there on Shaun Alexander. This is clear evidence that Zorn is cutting his coach-speak classes, which is great news for The District media. Now they don’t have to wait for Marion Berry to once again fire up a pipe to have something fun to report on.