ShamWow Absorbs Assault Arrest on Prostitute

From the “If They Show the Commercial 47 Times During a Sporting Event, Then It’s Sports-Related” Department:

The ShamWow owner and spokesman, Vince Shlomi, made his first wad of cash through direct marketing of his own film, The Underground Comedy Movie.  (You may remember the commercials a decade ago.  You may wish you didn’t.)  The NEW YORK TIMES said the “… series of sketches built around subjects like masturbation, defecation, alienation, urination, necrophilia, voyeurism, casual brutality and mockery of the unfortunate… stands as a monument to ineptitude and self-delusion.”

Vince ShamWow Shlomi and new friend

(All hail THE SMOKING GUN!)

So let’s not now be shocked that Vince should find himself allegedly being assaulted and assaulting a prostitute on South Beach.  She bit his tongue and wouldn’t let go; he pounded her face in… it’s all he said, she said with fantastic mug shots.  If only there was a product that could soak up all this negative publicity…