Speed Read: Oregon, Boise Trade Musical Barbs

For a lot of us, tonight is like Christmas, your birthday and finding your Dad’s stash of Swank Magazines when you were 12 all rolled into one: college football starts tonight. And unlike most opening week mismatches, tonight’s marquee match-up should be a doozy, with Pac-10 dark horse Oregon braving possible blindness from the Smurf Turf and the color-coordinated fans to America’s underdog, the Boise State Broncos (current listed as a 3.5-point favorite).

Jeremiah Masoli

But this isn’t just a compelling game between two Top 25 teams with big aspirations. No, these two teams (in my best Jim Ross drawl) Just Plain Don’t Like Each Other, especially after last season’s win by Boise State that featured two Broncos getting ejected and Oregon QB Jeremiah Masoli getting KOed by a cheap shot while attempting his first pass of the game. Here’s some video if you want to judge for yourself:

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Coked-Up Tennis Player Not Guilty Of Coking Up

It’s not every day that we can say we’re truly thrilled to bring you news regarding athletes and banned substances. Sure, Manny’s fertility drug test was rather giggle-worthy and Jeremy Mayfield’s ongoing meth saga has been amusing, but even those were ultimately just another story about another cheating player and a poorly-written testing policy. But today? Today is something special, folks.

Richard Gasquet

(That’s him on the left, not doing coke.)

We’re proud to announce that French tennis player Richard Gasquet has been exonerated and reinstated to the pro tennis tour after testing positive for cocaine back in May. How, you ask? Was he the victim of a tainted sample or a badly-administered test? Well, no. It was the stripper’s fault, you see. It’s always the stripper’s fault.

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