Welp, Gloria Allred, attorney for Rachel Uchitel, sent this ALL POINTS BULLETIN to the media today: “Due to unforeseen circumstances, the news conference scheduled for today is canceled. There will be no further statements on this matter.”

In other words, it’s officially been three working day since Uchitel’s been in L.A.

Drat! Allred doesn’t even get to lead the elephants around the ring once?

But for you, loyal SbB reader, I have more fun Uchitel surprises coming …

Following the Wednesday smoking gun voicemail of Tiger Woods produced by Woods’ mistress Jaimee Grubbs along with Woods’ nebulous admission of past “transgressions”, 34-year-old “New York party girl” Rachel Uchitel (photos) is reportedly ready to admit she lied about not having sex with Woods. From RadarOnline.com:

Rachel Uchitel, the first woman identified woman as romantically linked to Tiger Woods, is now admitting to an affair with the golfing great, after adamantly denying it, RadarOnline.com is reporting exclusively. Her attorney Gloria Allred has scheduled a press conference for Thursday, saying only in a press release that “at the news conference Ms. Allred will make a statement about Ms. Uchitel’s relationship with Tiger Woods.

Ms. Uchitel will be present at the news conference but will not speak.

Uh, good luck with that. Read more…

Today the NATIONAL ENQUIRER leaked a portion of an upcoming US WEEKLY expose - to be published tomorrow - on Tiger Woods‘ alleged relationship with Rachel Uchitel:

According to their new story “Tiger and Rachel have been intimate for about six months,” a source was quoted as saying by US. In addition, they confirmed what the ENQUIRER reported FIRST in our bombshell world exclusive that Tiger and Rachel hooked up in a hotel in Melbourne, Australia mid November.

That would be when the Enquirer snapped a photo of Uchitel in the lobby of Woods’ hotel in Melbourne. The golfer was there for the Australian Masters.

(More photos of Uchitel)

The Enquirer also claims to debunk Uchitel’s rambling denial of the affair today in the NEW YORK POST, while also noting that the mag “has additional facts about Rachel that we have yet to release.” Read more…

Rachel Uchitel (photos) gave a long first-person denial to the NEW YORK POST this morning. Most of her wrath was reserved for the two female sources of the story, though she did not name them. Using “f—ing hooker” and “trainwreck” to describe them, and claiming another did drugs, she said the sources overheard her booking a bachelor party that Tiger Woods would be attending on the phone.

(’Recluse’ Uchitel with Ashley Samson, source she claimed she never met)

From that “four-hour” phone conversation, Uchitel said the sources somehow connected her to a relationship with Woods to the NATIONAL ENQUIRER.

I got a random phone call from somebody who needed to set up a bachelor party in Vegas. He said, ‘Tiger Woods was going to be with us, can you set us up?’ I said sure.

 … “[One of the sources] is just looking for a payday because she is a f- - -ing hooker and wants money. She just got a little smart for once and put some things together she could use for a story.

She also (superficially) addressed her checking into Woods’ hotel in Melbourne and her past alleged relationship with David Boreanaz of Fox-TV’s Bones.

Read more…

Barring an overzealous Florida Highway Patrol looking to avenge embarrassment by the world’s biggest sports celebrity, it appears Tiger Woods is in the clear regarding his car accident. I actually think that most informed observers empathize with Woods now, as it’s obvious his strategy with the FHP is designed expressly to protect his wife Elin Nordegren.

But there are still more potholes (fire hydrants?) that Woods may have to negotiate, despite his alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel (photos) denying she had an affair with Woods.

(Previously unseen photos of Woods’ alleged mistress, Rachel Uchitel)

The biggest potential issue for Woods is the NATIONAL ENQUIRER releasing more damaging information about his alleged affair, which it has promised to do. Read more…

PALM BEACH POST gossip Jose Lambiet has fresh intel today on Tiger Woods‘ alleged mistress, Rachel Uchitel.

Uchitel is the granddaughter of powerful Cleveland banker and amateur golfer Warner Bishop, who moved to The Island with a much younger wife in the 1990s. He died in 2001 at 82. And her mom is socialite Susan Bishop.

She’s a descendant of a prominent golfer? Perfect. Read more…

As Tiger Woods‘ alleged mistress plots her next move with Gloria Allred here in Los Angeles today, US Magazine has a revelation about other men Uchitel has allegedly dated.

Her mother has told friends her daughter has dated New York Yankee players Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez.

More information continues to bleed out about Uchitel from past associates, along with tales of Woods’ alleged sordid lifestyle. Read more…

RadarOnline sources a report today that claims that before Tiger Woods left his house and crashed his car into a tree, he told wife Elin Nordegren, “You’ve ruined our Thanksgiving. Are you happy now?”

The argument was reportedly over the NATIONAL ENQUIRER story that details Woods in an affair with VIP club hostess Rachel Uchitel (photos).The website also has a comment from one of Woods’ neighbors that is less than complimentary about the golfer. Read more…

CNBC’s Darren Rovell received an email from Tiger Woods’ agent Mark Steinberg today indicating that Woods does not plan to initiate talks with the police at all.

“We have been informed by the Florida Highway Patrol that further discussion with them is both voluntary and optional,” Mark Steinberg, senior vice president and global managing director of golf for IMG, told CNBC.

“Although Tiger realizes that there is a great deal of public curiosity, it has been conveyed to FHP that he simply has nothing more to add and wishes to protect the privacy of his family.”

Woods’ biggest sponsor, Nike, also has issued a statement on Woods - via Rovell. Read more…

The Florida Highway patrol has released the 911 call made late Thursday night by Tiger woods’ neighbor after Woods crashed his vehicle in his driveway.

(Wait, Tiger wasn’t able to make the police cancel the call?)

After the jump is audio and a full transcription of the call.

Read more…