I Remember When Soccer Wasn’t All About Drugs

Pardon me for being a soccer purist [If you were really a purist you’d call it “football,” you ass.-ed.], but I remember when it was all about the run of play, the penalty kick shootouts, Diego Maradona, Roy Keane! But not this, Dike, not this at all.

Heroin Button
(I guess this is a heroin button. Who knew?)

Hmm? What’s that? No, I’m not using a derogatory term for lesbians; my favorite of those is “Subaru Jockey.” No, we’re referring to the Nigerian soccer player named simply “Dike,” which we would kinda suggest he changes at some point, because c’mon man. Dike was arrested for smuggling heroin into India, which he says he was doing in return for a spot on the Nigerian soccer team.

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Bears Fund 4-Yr-Old’s Flight For Heart Operation

We trash pro sports because it’s fun, and they do have more money than God, but occasionally it’s nice to recognize leagues and athletes when they give back. So it’s great to be able to type this sentence: On a recent NFL goodwill trip to Nigeria, two Chicago Bears players reached into their own pockets to help save a young girl’s life.

Adewale Ogunleye

The Bears’ Adewale Ogunleye and Israel Idonije met a woman whose 4-year-old daughter was born with a hole in her heart, and needed surgery to survive. An organization called Heart Gift agreed to perform the operation on the little girl and would pay for everything - except the flight from Lagos, Nigeria, to Austin Texas, which can cost from $2,500 to $5,000 per person. The surgery was about to be canceled because the mother couldn’t raise enough money for the flight.

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