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I chose to start the second half thread with the sublime over the ridiculous. This blur of speed and agility is none other than newly minted Hall of Famer Hakeem Abdul Olajuwon. Thanks to Brooks for the attempt to capture a dream in pixels.
And now onto the ridiculous…
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Welcome to the NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship Game, otherwise known as The Last Chance to Make Back the Money You Lost on Your Brackets. Brooks has descended on San Antonio for the pinnacle of amateur sports, the podium for the purity of the human spirit, the reward for young men’s desire to succeed for the pride of their scho…
… no, but seriously, Brooks is at the Alamodome tonight for the game. We’ll be getting live reports from him all night. You can see his weekend report at FOXSPORTS.COM.
I will be your master of ceremonial snarkery, Tuffy. I’m drinking beer from Wisconsin tonight, so expect the repartee to be plodding and painful but fundamentally sound.
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(Athleticism in action)
The Larry Brown Invitational continues with Kansas against North Carolina. Both Bill Self and Roy Williams have ordered their players to have fun tonight in a vain attempt to get them to relax. Tyler Hansbrough’s anus probably hasn’t unclenched since the third grade. No wonder he always looks like he will explode.
Hey, that’s an auspicious start if I ever saw one.
Again, Brooks is at the contest and will send reports as long as his phone survives. Unlike the other Alamo denizens, he’ll keep his powder dry and save his ammo until he’s needed. (Also, he looks great in a coonskin cap.)
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From Brooks at the half:
“We wonder if our efforts tonight will net us the annual Stephen A. Smith Blackberry blogger of the year award.
We’re really trying to figure out why they built the Alamodome. Besides arena football and one Final Four every 8 years, what was the point?
It’s a non-descript building that has no personality. We checked out the worst seats for the game earlier today and the view is absolutely insane. We hear they actually reside in Antiguan airspace.
We can certainly see why the Spurs wanted out.
As for the cheerleaders, we’re too far away to make a definitive judgment on who has a better squad. From afar, both sets of girls are smokin’. We don’t want to get too close, then you start to see the imperfections and it ruins the fantasy.
Halftime!”
Welcome to the First Annual Sports by Brooks Final Four Liveblog Marathon and Fish Fry! I’ll be your Fry Guy, Tuffy. Please take a plate, move through the buffet line, and have a seat where you’re comfortable. I’ll be by later to take your drink orders, though we only have orange drink.
Brooks himself, the owner of this here establishment, is on site at the game in San Antonio. We’ll be receiving updates from him during the contests tonight. For example, you can see here that the Final Four is apparently being held at Tomorrowland.
(Look, Ma! A flying machine!)
I will be stationed in the Tuffy Bunker with enough pale ale to knock even Manu Ginobli down. You know how tough that can be.
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THE DALLAS MORNING NEWS reports that Final Four teams lose six-figure sums of cash every year due to onerous fees and forced purchases while losing the chance at the best seats in the house, while the NCAA gives those to a ticket reselling Web site and splits the profits with the Web site. Thanks for bringing down the non-salary labor, schools!
North Carolina, Oklahoma, and Texas officials were pleased to speak on the record about being forced to pay for empty hotel rooms out by Hartford International Airport in Atlanta (four-night minimum) when hotels near the Georgia Dome cost less or how tickets once available to the schools now end up with RazorGator at a premium.
Could we please check with NCAA officials to make sure all four teams Saturday night received the same schedule of events? This seems to have been a problem all week, what with all the blowouts. One team gets notice to show up for a game at an appointed time and the other team has a schedule that asks them to appear at a rubber chicken dinner at the hotel at the same time.
(Are you sure this schedule is right? I don’t think we’re supposed to carry the Olympic torch tonight.)
Is it too much to ask the printing vendor to tell UCLA the game starts at 6:30ish ET without telling Xavier to be at the Scottsdale Hilton at 6:45 for the presentation of the “Nice Try, Kids; Better Luck Next Year” award?
By the time Xavier realized they’d been caught on “Candid Camera” and raced over to the arena, it was too late. UCLA had already throttled the empty Xavier jerseys 76-57. (It would have been worse except for UCLA’s 10 first-half turnovers.)
