8:00 PM CSN Baltimore has video of Marcus Smith, a U.S. soldier who dressed as a minor league umpire to surprise his children at a Bowie Baysox game with a home visit from Afghanistan.
7:45 PM A Japanese Harley-Davidson motorcycle that was swept out to sea during last year's tsunami washed up on a shore in British Columbia last month. The bike's owner asked that the motorcycle be displayed at the Harley-Davidson Museum in Milwaukee as a memorial to the tsunami victims.
7:30 PM Buffalo Bills receiver David Clowneytweeted the results of his HIV test which came back negative. And to the critics of his decision to share his results, Clowney added: "Some people are Ridiculously stupid ... And can't see the bigger picture about things that are important in this world."
The Milwaukee Brewers are unveiling a great new promotion on Friday — drive-in movies in their parking lot. Hmm, looks like I have a choice to make. Do I head over to Miller Park for a double feature, or stay at home and hit myself repeatedly over the head with a wooden mallet? It’s a tough decision.
(A double feature of doom!)
In these tough economic times, Major League Baseball is not too proud to dip into the Minor League playbook and pull out a few tricks. Movies at the ballpark have been popular in the minors for years, and one day earlier this year the Brewers noticed that they have a huge parking lot, and a fan base with cars and not much to do on weekends when the Brewers aren’t in town. The rest came naturally. Read more…
Our older readers likely know The Rule, used to calculate whether a relationship with a large age difference is creepy. A sexual relationship is acceptable if the younger person’s age is at least 7 plus half the elder’s age. 30 can pull 22, for example, but any younger and you’re a total perv.
(”Also, I want Antonio Alfonseca’s extra fingers. He’s still around, right?”)
We bring this up because while there’s no single universally accepted age at which it stops becoming acceptable for fans to bring a glove to a baseball game, it too follows a pretty consistent formula: as long as your age is no higher than 12 plus half the amount of years you played Little League, you’re safe. This, of course, necessarily excludes adults from ever bringing a glove to a game, mainly because only adults could pull the underhanded behavior of Brewers fan Nick Yohanek, who gave himself the Orwellian nickname of “The Happy Youngster.”
As the DETROIT NEWS reports, the Marlins’ Chris Coghlan made the mistake of hitting his first home run to Yohanek, who demanded unholy amounts of loot in return for the ball. Read more…
The Atlanta Hawks’ animal mascot (as opposed to its mall & car dealership mascot) couldn’t get settled for Wednesday night’s Game 2 against the Miami Heat. Before each home game, Spirit the Hawk usually swoops across the arena and land with its handler.
For reasons unclear, they started the game while Spirit stayed loose. However, the game came to a screeching halt a few minutes in when Spirit landed on the backboard camera and Josh Smith excused himself due to winged predators in the field of play. Eventually, Spirit returned to his handler and play continued.
The rest of the Hawks followed suit in avoiding airborne objects for the remainder of the game, allowing Dwyane Wade to divebomb them with 33 points (including six three-pointers) in a 108-93 win to pull even with the Hawks at a game apiece in the seven-game series.
After the game, Hawks management offered Spirit the scorekeeper job; at least he knows where to look for the ball.
In other NBA games last night, Philadelphia lost to Orlando 96-87, New Orleans lost to Denver 108-93, and the Detroit Pistons lost their ability to care.
Instead of getting approximately six weeks to consult with NBA teams, speak to trusted advisors, and draw out the decision into key segments of the news cycle, players would get around a week’s time, usually during finals. The NCAA wants to protect their franchisees by encouraging the players to stick around longer to increase their marketing value.
Therefore, no one should show surprise when a young man chooses to skip the NCAA for Europe as Brandon Jennings did. Perhaps we should also not feign indignance when the best high school junior in the country, Jeremy Tyler, packs his extra-long jammies (for his 6′11″ frame) and heads to Europe before his senior year of high school.
Long-time watchers of tall young men will recognize the puppeteer behind this latest stress test on the basketball pipeline. Sonny Vaccaro has his hand in this year’s Atlantic leap, just as he did for Jennings last year. Tyler turns 18 in June and will be eligible for the 2011 NBA draft.
We have a suggestion for Tyler to consider when he selects an NBA agent:
However, you can now express your joy in the NBA’s second season with your own SPORTSbyBROOKS NBA playoff matchups in convenient chart form:
Eastern Conference
#1 Cleveland We’ll Be Shouting ‘BOOBIE!’ as Much as Possibles vs. #8 Detroit Ballast Jettisoners
#2 Boston Can We Borrow a Dead Guy’s Knee for KG Like We Did for Curt Schillings vs. #7 Chicago Sixteen Guards and Whaddya Gets
#3 Orlando Dwight Hasn’t Figured Out a Costume Change to Make Him a Point Guard, Toos vs. #6 Philadelphia So Glad We’re Paying Elton Brand $18 Million in 2012-2013s
#4 Atlanta Name Three Players vs. #5 Miami Name Twos
Western Conference
#1 Los Angeles Kobe Clubs Baby Seals with Portuguese Water Dogs Wrapped in Veals vs. #8 Utah Deron Williams Falls Asleep Every Night Clutching a Copy of His Tear-Stained Contract After Failing to Find an Out Clauses
#2 Denver You’ve Got to Be Kiddings vs. #7 New Orleans Seriously, Aren’t These in the Wrong Orders
#3 San Antonio Flashbacks vs. #6 Dallas Hey, At Least We Haven’t Traded for Shaq Yets (Note: the above series has been moved to CBS and the Hallmark Channel as per FCC regulations around programming for the elderly.)
#4 Portland Maybe Next Years (But Don’t Tell Joel Przybilla’s Grandma We Said So) vs. #5 Houston There’s Also a Regression Analysis to Prove Shane Battier Makes the Best Damned Mojitos in Texas
As always, it’s the gift you didn’t even have to ask for. Or didn’t want to.
Major League Baseball tried yet again yesterday to provide another round of gifts to Jackie Robinson, who has been feted nearly as often as Frank Sinatra since his death. Yesterday, every player in baseball wore number 42 in his honor to avoid the embarrassment of 42 wearer infighting last year.
Ian Kinsler followed up on this attempt with his own success: 6-6 at the plate with a cycle attached. If the opposing team last night (the Orioles) happened to be your sleeper team this year, you may want to check just how deep that sleep is.
Speaking of deep sleep, former Illinois governor (and current Illinois chew toy) Rod Blagojevich apparently didn’t feel it necessary to stop at meddling with the affairs of Tribune Co. when he didn’t get his way. He also sent a note to Cubs manager Lou Piniella to recommend a lineup change in 2007.
S’funny; we don’t remember Blago being so receptive to a lineup change at the state level earlier this year. Perhaps he isn’t a big fan of having his moves micromanaged by impotent whiners who never held the position dictating his actions from afar when they’ve never been in the trenches, y’know?
Kobe Bryantand Elmo beatboxing. Look… to misquote David Mamet, that’s why they call it ‘video’:
Congratulations on playing all 82 games this season, Grant Hill. Also, congratulations on getting your wife, Tamia, a spot at All-Star Weekend and various local charity events in Arizona. Strong season all ’round.
Now that the WALL STREET JOURNAL has a sports section, expect to see sabermetric notions exposed to a larger audience. That might explain why the guy in the cubicle next to you suddenly wants to talk about batting the pitcher eighth.
We suspect the last time an angry bear was used to sell hockey tickets involved Bruce Vilanch and the Los Angeles Kings, but this isn’t so bad, either:
Fare thee well to Merle Harmon, an itinerant broadcaster for the Milwaukee Brewers, Texas Rangers, New York Jets (during Super Bowl III), and baseball in general. He died Wednesday at age 82.
Congratulations, Philadelphia sports fans, you’ve done it again. Nothing on the lines of booing Santa Claus or cheering Michael Irvin’s career-ending neck injury, but booing during the team’s World Series ring celebration? That’s pretty impressive. As the PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS reports, the recipient of Phillies’ fans hatred was former starting pitcher Adam Eaton, as you can see in this video clip (you’ll hear the “You Suck” starting raining down at around 2:45):
Let’s face it: Eaton was hardly a key contributor to the Phillies’ World Series run. He went 4-8 last season with a 5,80 ERA, and was left off of the postseason roster before being cut this spring. And yes, the Phillies are still on the hook for his contract to the tune of $9 million this season, so you can understand why he’s hardly the favorite son of Phillies fans.
But booing someone at the ring ceremony? Isn’t that supposed to be just about the most positive thing that can happen at a sporting event - the recognition of an amazing team accomplishment regardless of what any individual did. Pat Burrell, now with the Rays, flew in for the ceremony and received a hero’s welcome. As BIG LEAGUE STEW notes, even So Taguchi got a World Series ring.
Plus, the guy showed a sense of humor about the whole thing, acting like he was Neil Armstrong getting a ticker tape parade down Broadway. Personally, I would have been waving to the crowd, but just with one, middle finger. I guess $9 million for doing nothing and a shiny World Series ring can bring a guy a lot of inner peace.
Meanwhile, there’s a battle starting today for a prize even more tacky than a World Series ring but just as coveted: the green jacket awarded to the winner of The Masters. There’s no guarantee of who will be having the green jacket placed on them by defending champion Trevor Immelman on Sunday (unless Immelman repeats…now, excuse me while I find a rag to clean up the Orange Crush I spit out of my mouth from laughing while typing that), there is one thing for sure: everyone hates the new course design.
GOLF.COM has a lengthy preview featuring golf writers and anonymous pros, and everyone takes a shot at the new course design, saying that it’s “not Tiger-proofed, it’s excitement-proofed” and that they’ve “sucked the life out of the tournament.” The par-5s are too long to reach in two for anyone, meaning it’s an exciting battle of wedges and midrange putting.
The three names at the top of the list as winners are: Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson and Padraig Harrington. One name not on the list of contenders is Gary Player, but there will some attention on him for the first two days: at 73, he’s playing in his 52nd and final Masters tournament. There will be some tears shed when he finishes his round on Friday, but there likely won’t be an emotional outpouring by the fans/patrons like we’ve seen in the past for Jack Nicklaus or Arnold Palmer.
And that’s too bad: Player has been a remarkable ambassador for the sport, whose fame in the US was damaged by being South African at a time when that was considered shameful, and not being quite as good as Jack or Arnie (or even as charismatic as Lee Trevino). But he won nine majors in his career, including three Masters, and did more than any other player in the 1960s and 1970s to make golf an international game.
Plus, he’s been a remarkable philanthropist, rising more than $30 million for his Player Foundation building school in South Africa. So let’s all give a polite golf clap to the Black Knight as he gets ready to head off into the sunset.
Finally, CAGEWRITER says that among the hopeful contestants at the open tryouts for Season 10 of Spike TV’s “The Ultimate Fighter” were several former NFL players. Among those trying to get into the house this season were former Bucs first round draft pick Marcus Jones, former Colts lineman Rex Richards and former Packers running back/returner Herbert Goodman. This season is focusing on heavyweights, so sadly Johnnie Morton couldn’t use this as a way to spark an MMA comeback.
Usually athlete blogs are about as exciting as reading hog futures, but the one by Chantelle Anderson of the WNBA’s Atlanta Dream is pretty interesting (arguably more so than WNBA games). Her latest post details her internal debate on whether to post a bathing suit photo on her Web site, and the relationship of sports and sex appeal. Personally, I’d vote “yes” on seeing more skin from her:
It might take Randy Johnson quite some time to get to 300 wins if he keeps giving up three-run bombs to pitchers, like the SAN JOSE MERCURY NEWS say he did to Yovani Gallardo, as the Big Unit’s Giants debut was a 4-2 loss to the Brewers.
In possibly the least-shocking off-season NFL news this year, a Cincinnati Bengal was arrested Sunday morning. The CINCINNATI ENQUIRER says that Leon Hall, who led the team in interceptions last season, has been charged with a DUI after hitting a 0.15 BA level. Bonus points: he tried to convince the officer that he needed to get home because his wife was having a baby.
The TREASURE COAST PALM say police in Port St. Lucie, FL, are looking for a man who ran naked across the outfield at a youth baseball game before hopping the fence and getting into a waiting car. Man claiming to be umpire at game says suspect got “hung up” on fence. Ouch!
An interesting item from the ASU WEB DEVIL, a student publication of Arizona State: a Sun Devil football player had his wallet stolen from his locker at Sun Devil Stadium, losing around $270. (The story is halfway down.) Not only do I want to know what a student-athlete is doing with almost $300 in walking around money, but now we know why James Harden is leaving ASU for the NBA Draft (that, and millions of dollars).
Dustin Pedroia probably shouldn’t expect to be getting the keys to his hometown any time soon, after the SACRAMENTO BEE says he dissed Woodland, CA in a magazine interview, saying it’s “a dump. You can quote me on that. I don’t give a …” I’m sure this has nothing to do with the fact that his brother was arrested on child molestation charges there in January.
Only in Australia: NINE NEWS says that the entire North Melbourne Kangaroos Aussie Rules Football team had to appear at a press conference to apologize for a video they made showing a condom-wearing rubber chicken having sex with a chicken carcass. And yes, of course we have the video (caution, NSFW due to graphic song lyrics and simulated rubber chicken on chicken sex):
In European soccer news, Chelsea ripped Liverpool 3-1 in their Champions League quarterfinal, which THE TIMES OF LONDON says makes them an overwhelming favorite to get to the semifinals again. If so, they’ll likely play Barcelona, who thumped Bayern Munich 4-0.
THE SPORTING BLOG wants you to know that you should never criticize the Hillsdale College baseball team, even if they’ve lost nine of their last ten games. Lest you wind up with a mound of dead animal carcasses on your front door, the fate that befell an unwitting writer at the college newspaper.
Quiet night in sports as the NBA gears up for the All-Star weekend in Phoenix (first round of stories: “Hey, it gets cold in the desert!”). Therefore, coverage this morning will be 20-25% less sports-y. This is in honor of NFL Commisioner Roger Goodell taking a pay freeze this year and trimming his bonus from last year to drop his 2008 pay by roughly a quarter.
“The commissioner believes it will take a collective sacrifice of everyone to get through this difficult economic environment.” The commish is wise. However, the commish will certainly have a better case for the uncapped year coming up and the next CBA negotiations by showing “fiscal responsibility” now. Also, the layoff of 15% of league staff in NYC might be a little more palatable.
Darren McFadden, Bay Area savior and Al Davis’ last good idea, had his shoulder ’scoped last month, but no one knew his shoulder was injured. Not only that, but he went back to his college doctor to have the procedure done. We’re not suggesting this was a good idea, but Al Davis’ medical plan for the Raiders consists mostly of leeches and bromide. Hey, it’s worked for him…
Our favorite Tweet of the day, from the Phoenix Suns: “All-Star round table topics - Obama, race, education, HIV - were just interrupted by a birthday cake for Bill Russell.” The All-Star weekend is magnificently bizarre.
A quick aside: if you had asked me one baseball card to represent my entire collection, without hesitation I would have responded 1987 Topps Dale Sveum, pictured below (no, mine was not autographed; that would have probably made it the most valuable card I ever owned. My collection sucked). There he stood, his gaze as majestic as his ’stache, the incredible Milwaukee Brewers logo of the era gracing his cap. The 80s were great, and Dale Sveum was so very 80s.
So it is with a heavy heart that I must inform you all that Milwaukee’s interim manager’s career is no more. Sveum guided his team to the playoffs after taking over for Ned Yost, who was fired with 16 games left in the 2008 regular season. According to the MILWAUKEE JOURNAL SENTINAL, though, it clearly wasn’t enough for Milwaukee brass:
Fresh off their first postseason appearance in 26 years, the Brewers reportedly want to keep the momentum going. And that means they might throw their hat into the ring for the services of CC Sabathia, who nearly single-handedly pushed the Crew into the playoffs.
SI.COM’s Jon Heyman says that the Brewers may even be willing to go over $100 million to keep Sabathia, though it seems unlikely they could compete for him if the bidding gets into the Johan Santana range ($137.5 million for six years). The Yankees, with their fancy new job-creatin’ ballpark, are seen as the prohibitive favorite to land CC because they can essentially give him a blank check.
If you want to avoid the appearance of a conflict of interest as MLB Commissioner, you might not want to throw out the first pitch before a home playoff game of the team you used to own. But that’s exactly what the MILWAUKEE JOURNAL SENTINEL says Bud Selig did before Game 4 of the Brewers’ NLDS game against the Phillies. (Not that I trust the Commissioner to have the brains to fix a flat tire much less a playoff series, mind you.)
And he was cheered, loudly, by the fans after he threw a strike. Thus disproving the notion that he’s been such a clueless Commissioner that he would get booed out of any stadium in baseball. Unfortunately, after suspicions were aroused by his throw, he was subject to a random urine sample and found to have been doping by cutting his Metamucil with creatine.
• SI’s Arash Markazi understands Emmitt Smith doesn’t like Ocho Cinco’s plans to smooch the Cowboys’ star: “He can kiss the star anytime he wants, but not after scoring a touchdown. I have a problem with that.”
• PLAYING THE FIELD needs some help with their pigskin picks. So they go to someone who knows all about skin - a guy who works at Victoria’s Secret. In the meantime, we’ll go ask the models.
