Mike Sando of ESPN.com’s HASHMARKS plucks this comment from a Redskins.com interview with new Washington coach Jim Zorn:

“To watch Clinton Portis and the strain for the extra yard, it can fire you right up. I think he has excellent vision and he seems to be disciplined moving in the hole. He is probably the idea of an every-down back. We did not do that in Seattle. We did not have that every-down back in Seattle. We had to piece and put and kind of makeshift situations with plays. Clinton Portis is the kind of guy that you can have in and pass protect, can have in and run the ball.”

Former Seattle assistant Zorn scores a direct hit there on Shaun Alexander. This is clear evidence that Zorn is cutting his coach-speak classes, which is great news for The District media. Now they don’t have to wait for Marion Berry to once again fire up a pipe to have something fun to report on.

We’re always keeping an eye out for Montreal moochers pilfering purses.

• Ashley Judd really knows how to rev up the engines at Daytona:

• Heads up, Alfred Aboya! Or should that be - “Face Up”?

• Buffalo fans have seen Richard Zednik’s terrible throat slash before - when it happened to Sabres goalie Clint Malarchuk.

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• GOSSIP GIRLS leis down pics of Tony Romo & Jessica Simpson hanging loose in Hawaii for Pro Bowl Weekend:

Guess she’s not such a jinx after all.

• SIGNAL TO NOISE racks up the frequent flyer miles, as an Internet exec in Denver tries to coach a high school team in Virginia.

• DEUCE OF DAVENPORT discovers a new way for bloggers & other desk jockeys to stay in shape while working with the new $4,000 Tread Desk.

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Jim Fassel snapped into Slim Jim (Zorn) to Clark Judge of CBSSports.com after getting jilted by Dan Snyder for the Redskins coaching job.

Fassel: “Someone said to me that Jim Zorn has three jobs he hasn’t done now. He’s a head coach, and he’s never done it. He’s an offensive coordinator, and he’s never done it. And he’s calling the plays, and he’s never done it.

Apparently Fassel is blissfully unaware that such comments aren’t a great way to land future employ in the league. And the former Giants coach didn’t limit his caustic comments to Zorn. Read more…

• LE BASKETBAWL finds at least one winner on the 10-39 T-Wolves, as Marko Jaric is apparently dating Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima:

• SOCCERLENS focuses in on the real goal for a successful World Cup in South Africa - legalizing prostitution.

• Jason Whitlock of the KANSAS CITY STAR wants his March Madness now, as he’s bored with the college b-ball regular season.

• THE BIG LEAD is rooting for Dudley Hart to win the Pebble Beach Pro-Am, considering he missed a lot of golf time caring for his lung cancer-stricken wife.

• FAN IQ’s 100% INJURY RATE suggests that if the Olympic discus toss doesn’t thrill you, why not try the live-goat-into-the-lions’-den toss?

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The Washington Redskins’ promotion of Jim Zorn — who until Jan. 26 had never even been an offensive coordinator — certainly turned some heads yesterday.

HOGS HAVEN has a good reckoning of reactions from interested blogging parties. But we’re here to say this: the skeptics might not have all the facts.

Intrigued? Follow me.

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We’re still trying to figure out why Dan Snyder felt the need to hire a head coach, since he already filled out the rest of Washington Redskins coaching staff and front office in recent weeks.

So it turns out 55-year-old Jim Zorn was the last man patsy standing. No head coaching or coordinator experience. The Redskins definitely got their man!

While you may think Snyder’s performance as owner is a little unorthodox, take heart ‘Skins fans. You can always look to his other business to get a feel for the inevitable future success Washington is sure to enjoy.

Ok, maybe that isn’t such a great idea.