Knoxville, Tennessee, has a problem. No, it’s not the age-old question of what to do with the Sunsphere, or the struggles to find prosperity after the decline of the manufacturing sector. Well, true, those are problems that are facing or have faced Knoxville (the set of 1987 World Book Encyclopedias in the SbB research library isn’t clear on that), but they’re not important right now.

No, the problem facing Knoxville right now is much worse than that: Out-of-control Cooters. Well, actually just one out-of-control Cooter: former Vols QB Jim Bob Cooter, who was arrested for going to bed last night … in a random woman’s bed … while she was in it … (and here’s the kicker:) without her permission.

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