AFL Team Doesn’t Really Get What “Fold” Means

We continue to mourn the effective end of the Arena Football League today after their announcement that the league was folding and declaring bankruptcy. We fondly remember spending a few evenings in Veterans Auditorium in Des Moines, watching Kurt Warner throw touchdowns to guys we’d never heard of as the Barnstormers proved you can have a terrible team name and still succeed in the world of professional sports.

Animal House Speech
(Nothing is over until Grand Rapids decides it is!)

But one Arena Football team isn’t taking the bad news lying down. The Grand Rapids Rampage, which sounds like a bad neurological livestock disease, are “committed to putting a team on the field.” Guys, that just sounds like practice but with the nice uniforms on.

Read more…

Speed Read: Washing Our Hands of the Swine Flu

The discerning reader prefers the news (and most foods) wrapped in bacon and liberally salted with panic. Therefore, we provide your Thursday morning sports-centric swine flu stories to better arm you at the water cooler to pass along the latest gossip mumbled through your faux designer mask:

Swine flu (or pigs fly)

Whew. That’s a lot of abject terror sensible precaution for one morning. Please add any additional sports-related swine flu stories to the comments below so the few remaining survivors have a record of these final days.

Thankfully, our few remaining moments left as a functional species can be well-represented by the following people tellin’ it like it is and keepin’ it real with the kids, assuming your kids take Don Rickles’ routine at face value:

Geno Auriemma

Fire truck at Comerica Park

(Emergency vehicle sized appropriately to emergency)

Finally, a false alarm (possibly a fire alarm) in the eighth inning could not shake the New York Yankees from barely holding onto a 8-6 lead at Comerica Park over the Detroit Tigers last night despite holding a 7-1 advantage late in the contest. As Joe Girardi put it, “In this day and age, that’s a little scary.”

Heck, Joe … in this day and age, what isn’t?

And now a hail of bullet points caused by two heroin-slingin’ senior citizen sisters (though you can’t fault them for looking for a new retirement plan these days) …

What’s your favorite pandemic?

View Results