Little Leaguers To Pick Up Dukes’ Lateness Fine

Elijah Dukes was the first to run afoul of the Nationals’ new No Tolerance rules. When he was five minutes late to warmups because he spent too much time speaking with Little Leaguers, that meant a fine and a benching. That’s lead to him being the cause célèbre of unjustly persecuted people the world over. Maybe I’m guilty of not paying enough attention to the Nationals, but when exactly did Elijah Dukes, pregnant-woman-assaulter, become Jesus?

Elijah Dukes

And just like Jesus, some well-meaning groups are raising money for him that he probably doesn’t really need. The Little League that monopolized his precious time Saturday is collecting donations to help Dukes pay off his tardiness fine. Guys, Dukes makes six figures. Save the money and buy yourselves a pizza party.

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