Delaware’s Exercise Enthusiasts Getting Blown

If it wasn’t for the fact that Delaware is, y’know, Delaware, it seems like it’d be a pretty awesome state. The state rakes in money hand over fist by charging out-of-staters outlandish tolls on its highways and by allowing corporations to exploit its lax regulatory system. And now the state is working to legalize sports betting, one of the raddest moves by a state since North Dakota threw that killer kegger back in ‘83.

Wayne's World Delaware

(Of course.)

Unfortunately, it’s not all sunshine and parlays in the Diamond State these days. Some bored teen (or worst domestic terrorist ever) has declared open season on the state’s cyclists and joggers with the most deadliest of deadly weapons - non-poison, non-barbed blow darts. EVERYBODY PANIC!

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