The free agent signing frenzy is one of the most exciting periods in offseason sports fandom. Will such-and-such big-name free agent finally be the missing piece your team needs to compete for a championship, or will it end up destroying the team (and its salary cap) for years to come? It’s an exciting time, sure, but it’s funny to watch fans, players, and team executives alike get carried away in the moment. One of the silliest parts of this frenzy is the introductory press conference. They’re completely meaningless; it’s just a bunch of executives, coaches, and athletes grinning into the camera and spouting trite sports cliches.
Just be thankful you don’t live in Europe. Superstar Cristiano Ronaldo was introduced to 80,000 assembled Real Madrid fans and media today in a spectacle that made even the most overblown of press conferences look like a Quaker church meeting.