Bears WR Blatantly Using Performance Enhancers

As much publicity as things like anabolic steroids and HGH have gotten in recent years, the dark truth of professional sports is that performance-enhancing substances take many, evil forms. The fact of the matter is that marginal prospects will do anything to hang onto the gravy train that is a pro athlete lifestyle; it sure as hell beats going to the drugstore to sell Flair pens every morning.

Devin Aromashodu

The desperate athlete is a dangerous creature indeed; he cares not for his reputation or well-being. Sadly, a shameful example of this sort of despicable behavior has come to light in the otherwise Utopian city of Chicago. End-o’-the-roster Bears WR Devin Aromashodu (Gesundheit!), who is currently trying to avoid being the odd man out amongst the six WRs currently on the team, has attempted to gain an unfair advantage over his peers. The details are shocking and horrifying, and are therefore hidden after the jump.

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