• CONSTRUDA saves their singles, as a New York strip club is offering free lap dances for the Super Bowl champion Giants.

• Now that collegiate coffins have been okayed, EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY offers up suggestions for scholastic-themed sex toys.

• THE BIZ OF BASKETBALL talks trash, as Steve Nash will be wearing Nike’s new recycled shoe.

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YEAH, BUT WE HEAR HE’S ONE HELLUVA PASS BLOCKER: We’re sorry, but we do admit to listening to the AM dial on occasion, and Dennis Miller’s radio play is sometimes a little like Lorenzo Neal when a pass is called - the 10th option. When we do dump it off to Dennis, he’s usually a little low on blood sugar and his sports acumen, based on an occasional quip, is as superficial as a Joel Meyers’ fellow broadcaster backstab.

We haven’t seen his new sports show on Bravo. Or was it The-N? Or was it GSN? Regardless, Rick Chandler of DEADSPIN relays the (fake) highlights from last night:• Mistake of the Week. Referred to the Kansas City Chiefs head coach as “Norm Edwards.”
• Number of times said the word “cat” in reference to a person: Seven.
• Event of the Week: The Stub Hub Legends Classic (a real event, actually, I think).
• Unfortunate Simile of the Week: “He was more stoned than a Syrian adulteress.”
• Guests: Jose Canseco, Bruce Pearl, Warren Sapp.
• Best line:. (By Sapp) “I’ve played for 13 years, and that takes a toll. If I’m going to continue, I’m going to have to go see Jose …”

Sounds like a great place to be on Monday nights - after about 15 shots of twist-off bottled Merlot.

MILLER RIFFS ON HIS DAYS IN THE MONDAY NIGHT BOOTH: As Joe Theismann frets and fumes over his ESPN dismissal, another ex-Monday Nighter revisits his glory days:

In a Q&A with SPORTS ILLUSTRATED, former ‘MNF’ analyst Dennis Miller talks about his experiences in the booth. He says his favorite ploy was to try and get on-air reactions from Al Michaels.Miller’s fondest game-time memory was his comment while a player was getting his ankled wrapped. He told Michaels, “I haven’t seen that much fabric used since the environmental artist Christo wrapped Pont Neuf in Paris.”

Al turned off his mike, then turned to Miller and said, “What the f— are you talking about?“(Coincidentally, that was the usual viewer response during Dennis’ two-year stay.)

Anyway, Miller also touches on the touchy subject of Joe’s jolt from the Monday Night mantle:

“At first he used to drive me crazy, but I would tell myself, ‘Anyone who throws for 560 in a game at Notre Dame, you have to respect.’ But then I got to know him a little and I thought his on-air stuff got better.

“Obviously, it came down to a him or Tony (Kornheiser) thing and I don’t quite know what the machinations were, but believe me, I sniffed around. That story is on deep background.”

Sounds mysterious. Or maybe they just didn’t like him.