The Blind’s Side: Irony Lost On Lingerie Lineman

Thanks to the FT. MYERS NEWS-PRESS, we have our first confirmed Lingerie Football League MILF: Tampa Breeze lineman Carie Small.

Carie Small Photo

(She goes both ways. In the game. On the line. Nevermind.)

Mother of a nine-year-old son, irony takes a standing-eight in the opening round of her N-P profile:

“People first think that this is just powder puff football with a bunch of models running around in lingerie. That’s not what it’s about. The girls on my team and all across the league are athletes. We take it seriously. We work really, really hard and everybody has real jobs and real careers.

We don’t walk around and say we play in the Lingerie Football League. We leave that out. We say we play in the LFL.”

Funny, I call it by an acronym too: ANFL (Accidental Nudity Football League.)

Carie Small Photo

Speaking of that, Small gives us a team injury report:

“We don’t wear any padding in our torso area. One of my teammates has a separated hip right now.”

And you thought that injury was only relegated to the OFL. (Octogenarian Football League.)

Small, who is also a nursing student, admits that semi-nude football isn’t for everyone:

“Well, women are a little bit objectified. My grandmother has some issues but my family, they’ve supported me playing sports my whole life. They don’t have a problem.”

So Granny’s no longer a member of her family because she doesn’t approve of Small’s softcore endeavor? Nothing a roofie-infused night out with Joe Francis won’t cure. (Just stay away from state lines Granny!)

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