You’ll probably remember - because honestly, who can forget something this ridiculous - the fiasco this January when a Rock of Love
retired stripper contestant burst a breast implant while tooling around on a hockey rink to win Bret Michaels‘ love. No, it doesn’t make sense.
(As you can see, this young woman clearly has complete disregard for implants. That’s what she’s tossing around, right?)
So let’s shift gears to the world of professional wrestling and one Mickie James. Yes, you can probably already see exactly where this one’s going, but we’re plugging ahead anyway, damn it. Ms. James is a a “WWE Diva,” which means she gets to run around and pretend to catfight other women. But since the WWE has a much more casual approach to implants than, say, boxing, there are certain hazards to the job. Yes, evidently, that involves popping your fake breasts.
There are plenty of good reasons for a boxer to be banned from the ring. Maybe you have AIDS like Tommy Morrison, and you are therefore a risk of infecting other boxers. Maybe you’re Mike Tyson and since you’ve already tried to bite somebody’s ear off, have that whole rape conviction, and are generally starting to suck anyway, various boxing federations just don’t want you. One reason you should never be barred from boxing, though, is because you have breast implants.
That’s exactly what’s happening to Sarah Blewden, who has been told by the Amateur Boxing Association of England that she will not be allowed to compete for the country’s 2016 Olympic team because of her fake breasts. Not because they put other boxers at risk, but because international rules bar anyone with them from competing because repeated punches to the body could deform the implants and breast tissue surrounding them. All of which Blewden thinks is bollocks.