Hey, you there - yeah you, about to go for a run. I see you over there doing your ridiculous overdramatic stretching, with your designer moisture-wicking running clothes on, $300 running shoes, and iPod attached to your upper arm. You think you’re pretty rad, don’t you? Congrats on running that 5k last weekend, that $50 you and your firm (matching funds, brah) raised for the fight against Brain Cloud will really make a huge difference in the world.
(Don’t mind me, just out for a quick run.)
But do us all a favor, won’t you? Stop acting like you’re some sort of hardened athlete. Jogging around on flat asphalt is something that anyone with a BMI under 40 can do with a little bit of effort. You want to impress the ladies? Enter a real man’s race like the Welsh Bog-Snorkelling Triathlon, which a true badass by the name of Dan Bent won over the weekend. Get Bent and learn how real men race, after the jump.