Despite dabbling in several different sporting endeavors during my high school days, the only time I came close to anything resembling a record book was in 1996, when I - intentionally, thankyouverymuch - achieved the lowest average score of any high school bowler, boy or girl, in the entire Northern Illinois Conference (this is not helping the public image of bloggers, is it?). It was a landmark achievement that required record levels of stick-to-it-iveness, marijuana, and apathy, and I thought it was the pinnacle of high school athletic achievement.

(Win. Rinse. Repeat.)

Amazingly, however, my record for high school athletic prowess has been shattered by a whippersnapper from Texas named Bonnie Richardson (a name that just screams “high school girl”, am I right). Bonnie young Bonnie managed to win the Texas girls’ state team track title the other day for the second straight year. That’s right - team title. By herself. Perhaps weed and apathy weren’t the magic weapons for athletic immortality I thought they were.

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