T-Ballers’ Trophies Taken Away Due To Cheating

Used to be, T-ball was a vehicle for teaching kids about sportsmanship and teamwork in a competition-free atmosphere. Winning and losing didn’t matter, whiffs were as good as hits, and at the end of the season, everybody got trophies for showing up.

T-ball game

Apparently, things have changed. At least in Evansdale, Iowa, where a team full of 5- and 7-year-olds were disqualified from the end-of-season Evansdale Youth Sports Association T-ball tourney for stocking the roster with mustachioed ringers*.


Instead of taking home trophies, the winning team, the Walleyes, was declared ineligible. The team’s coaches were banned from participating in EYSA organizations after board members discovered the team used two nonroster players.

“If you have to cheat to win down there, we don’t want you there,” board member Diane Peters said. “They broke the code of ethics. They did not follow the rules.”

As it turned out, the Walleyes coaches had added two players just to have enough warm bodies to participate in the tournament, and one of the players had been with the team since July 5 but never officially registered.

But rules are rules, even though the Walleyes, with the two nonroster players, had only seven guys on the team and won the tourney with just one outfielder. If anything, we should be celebrating the Walleyes’ improbable championship.

Instead, board member Peters has decided to strip the team of their title, because she obviously hates children. Senator Arlen Specter obviously needs to launch an investigation.

* slight exaggeration