Steal Lance’s Bike, Go To Prison For Three Years

The storybook criminal career of Lee Monroe Crider ended not how we thought it would — in a blaze of machine gun fire with G-Men while accompanied by a mysterious Lady in Red — but in a nondescript Sacramento courtroom. That’s where Public Enemy No. 1 received three years in the Graybar Hotel for one of the greatest atrocities one could imagine - stealing Lance Armstrong’s bike. They should have hung him!

Lance Armstrong, Lee Monroe Crider

Actually, Crider will be sentenced on Monday, where he is expected to get three years pounding rocks on Devil’s Island. Which of course begs the question: If Donte’ Stallworth had stolen a bike instead of, you know, killing a pedestrian while driving drunk, do you think he would have received more than 30 days?

Answer: Only if it were Lance Armstrong’s bike. Or perhaps Tiger Woods’ golf clubs.

From the SACRAMENTO BEE:

Lee Monroe Crider, 40, pleaded no contest June 1 to second-degree burglary and grand theft. According to court documents, he will be sentenced to the three-year prison term when he returns to court Monday. He will be sentenced by Judge Laurie M. Earl.

Crider’s co-defendant, Dung Hoang Le, 33, pleaded no contest June 1 to a misdemeanor count of receiving stolen property. Le already has been sentenced to three years of probation and 90 days in jail, to be served on the sheriff’s work project.

According to the Bee, Le had been driving around with Armstrong’s bike in the back seat of his car until his wife recognized it, and told him to turn it in. Thus another criminal mastermind is foiled. My favorite part of the story:

A search of Crider’s residence in Sacramento turned up a red mountain bike with $7,000 worth of components from a road racing bicycle. Crider told police he was working at the time at a laundromat, making $6 an hour “under the table.”

The police report said there was “no logical reason to have road racing bike components on a mountain bike.” The report also said that given his income, “it didn’t make sense” for Crider to have that kind of merchandise.

Crider told investigators he spent $500 for the parts and that he didn’t know they came off one of the pilfered Team Astana bikes, according to the police report.

By the way, this verdict was not good news for Syringe Man, who is currently the last man still imprisoned at Guantanamo Bay for crimes related to bothering Armstrong during the Tour of California.

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