NHL’s Site Has Bikini Girls Hanging Out On Yacht

In the ever-changing world of decency, the people who brought you the absolutely riveting “Making of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Calendar” TV special bring you this, via hockey blog THE POWER PLAY: A bunch of Dallas Stars ice girls on a yacht, for no apparent reason except, of course, that they look really, really, really good in bikinis.

Dallas Stars Ice Girls on Yacht

(Girls with less coverage than a Stars-Preds telecast on Versus)

That, friends, is more than enough reason for us. You should have been sold on the headline alone. It’s a pretty ridiculous piece of psuedo-lingerie propaganda, and we say propaganda with good reason: It’s on both the official NHL site and the Stars site itself, where each team member has her own individual video (not to mention the “team-building outing to Chipotle”). Oh but wait: There’s more! Scintillating quotes! (and be sure to click through … there’s video after the jump)

From ice girl Phoenix (yes, that’s really her name): “This year there’s more girls, there’s more to do and I think the fans are going to go nuts.”

Sounds good. Sold. But what do you girls actually do? We need specifics.

stars ice girls dance

Ice girl Tracy: “Friday night we had a photoshoot, and that was really fun. Today we’re on a yacht and having fun with each other doing this.”

Ice girl Laurie: “We been working really hard, getting up in the morning and working out, dancing, working on our tan.”

Clearly, the Dallas Stars Planet Tan Ice Girls are taking the season really seriously! Now, just think how hard they’d be working if the franchise hadn’t left Minnesota. After all, the NFL team in the twin cities proved they know a thing or two about how to have a boat cruise, so long as no one makes contact with the cops for, oh, the next 10 years or so.