Sports Radio Makes Your Proposal Extra Romantic

Sports radio listeners don’t exactly strike us as the, y’know, romantic type. If someone’s calling into a radio show to hurl invective at certain sports teams or players (none of whom will actually hear said invective, of course), odds are that their grasp on the outside world - and the women inhabiting it - is a little limited. Else, Big Fan wouldn’t ring true at all.

Big Fan
(It’s like if this guy made a wedding proposal.)

So when one of them actually does con a woman into spending time with them - and let’s be honest, with these people, this is a con job - their romantic instincts are still going to be stilted. Thus, you know marriage proposals are going to be… different.

From NEWSDAY.COM:

Dan Levenson, 26, of Brooklyn, a long-time listener and caller to Marc Malusis‘ overnight show, worked with the host to pull it off.Levenson told his girlfriend, Dale Greenspan, 23, of Deal, N.J., that he would be in the WFAN studio that night representing Giants fans as part of a special preseason roundtable.

She was to call in and give him an easy question to get the discussion started.

After she asked it, he revealed he was not in the studio but in fact waiting outside her front door.

…with a chainsaw! No, a ring, it was a ring. And she said yes.

We thought about it, and we could only think of one less romantic proposal.

You leave to “go on an errand” that should only take a half hour. Turn off your phone at this point and drive to the hospital. Have a friend call her phone from a number she doesn’t recognize and pretend to be a doctor telling her to come to the hospital (make sure she goes to the right one, otherwise this could be a mess), because you “might not make it.” Make sure the hospital’s close by, and have your “doctor” friend keep her on the line - this is crucially important, because we don’t need to be freaking out any relatives here.

While Dr. Fakenstein is calming her down, he’s to also keep her talking about where she is and monitor that. When she gets to the parking lot, he has to first direct her to the lobby where you’ll be waiting, then tell her that he’s got some more information on your condition. When she gets to the door itself, ideally, he’ll tell her, “his heart can’t make it… without yours.” Then you’re waiting right there on bended knee with a ring.

That’s literally the only thing we could think of that would be less romantic than making your new fiancee call into a sports talk show in the middle of the night to talk about the Giants.