Speed Read: Woods’ Son Ready For PGA In 2027

Some people thought that Tiger Woods would find a way to make it back from his rehab in time to play at the Buick Championships this week at Torrey Pines in San Diego. After all, he’s won the tournament six times, and it was the site of his epic victory over Rocco Mediate in the U.S. Open last June - his last tournament before having season-ending surgery.

Tiger Woods and Family

But he didn’t, and that’s probably a good thing: the SAN DIEGO UNION-TRIBUNE reports that his wife Elin Nordegren gave birth to their second child on Sunday, a brother to go with their daughter Sam. Put the new Woods scion along with his champion golfer niece, now the Woods gene pool can pretty much dominate both tours for at least the next 40 years.

(*UPDATE*: Tiger announces new kid’s name is Charlie Axel Woods.)

Elin Nordgren

As we mentioned when news of his wife’s pregnancy first broke, it took real courage to have sex with his Swedish model wife while dealing with an ailing knee. But to deal with a pregnant wife while rehabbing, with only the help of a team of nannies, servants and personal assistants? He should be canonized right now. Of course, it would help his case if he bothered to show up for this child’s baptism.

One place Tiger Woods probably won’t be showing up is anywhere with Snoop Dogg there, lest his reputation be sullied by some scallywags discussing nefarious topics such as pimps and hoes. But LenDale White has no such problems, inviting the rapper/actor/youth football coach to his 24th birthday party back in December, just after they beat the Pittsburgh Steelers to clinch the best record in the AFC.

LenDale White and Snoop Dogg

It might seem odd that Snoop Dogg would be at the party, since he is a professed Steelers fan. But he and White go back to White’s time at USC (White even threw Snoop Dogg a ball after a TD while the rapper was standing in the end zone), and White has cameoed in Snoop Dogg videos.

YOU BEEN BLINDED has the video of the night, and you can expect, the language makes it pretty NSFW - there are more N-bombs being dropped in the course of five minutes than at the University of Mississippi in 1962. And make sure you watch until the end for LenDale’s own bit of “freestyling”:

Point of fact here: I’m white, which means I have no idea what “I don’t flow, I just pull hoes” means, but I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with yardwork. I’m also pretty sure that Snoop Dogg was a Raiders fan when my roommate had a copy of “The Chronic” in college, and now he’s a Steelers fan but he’s hanging out with the Titans? This guy is the most fickle sports fan since LeBron James.

  • FOOD COURT LUNCH wants to give you a heads up about the latest movie: “Black Mamba, The Helpful Assassin.” Sounds like something Quentin Tarantino would be involved with, co-starring Jim Brown and Pam Grier.
  • Kobe Bryant, aka Black Mamba

  • Who would want a fat outfielder who was one of the biggest (literally) free agent busts in recent memory? Andruw Jones, welcome to the Texas Rangers! RUMORS & RANTS breaks down the freefall that is his career - at the very least, it will be fun to see if he can still be a tub of goo while dealing with Texas summers.
  • ARCA racing: it’s where they put inexperienced drivers on super speedways and wish them Godspeed. Needless to say, a lot of this sort of stuff happens:

    MOTORSPORT.COM says that Patrick Sheltra, the driver who was T-boned in the crash, remains hospitalized with a compression fracture in his back, but the majority of medical tests so far have been negative.
  • SLATE gets down to the truth of the matter: the SI report that Alex Rodriguez tested positive for steroids changes absolutely nothing.
  • The ASSOCIATED PRESS reports that Colts DE Darrell Reid was arrested after refusing to leave a nightclub parking lot in Indianapolis early Sunday. The best part is his reason: “I don’t have to because I am a football player with the Indianapolis Colts.” I understand that Jim Sorgi uses that line all the time as well, but usually it’s when security tries to kick off him the sidelines of Colts games.
  • NESW VIDEO found this gem on YouTube: A scintillating video Kevin Garnett put together for a Web site called AthetesDirect.com back in 2001 when he was playing for the Timberwolves. The topic? How he gets dressed. And yet somehow AthetesDirect.com is now defunct.

  • What do you get when you combine billiards, poker and mixed martial arts? Either a typical Saturday night at my house, or one of the goofiest ideas for a reality TV show ever, as tracked down by DEUCE OF DAVENPORT.
  • If can’t stalk the one you love, stalk the one you’re with (or at least near): the INDIANA STATESMAN says that a creep who served five years in prison for stalking Olympian Sheila Taormina has been arrested after apparently harassing an Indiana State female athlete and violating a restraining order to not step foot on campus. Because they really thought that was going to work?
  • KVIA-TV has video of a brawl after a soccer game in Juarez, Mexico that left 19 people arrested and several people injured. If you know anything about Juarez lately, you won’t be shocked to know that this was the least violent thing that happened in Juarez yesterday.
  • ESPN.COM reports that Oklahoma basketball player Ray Willis has been suspended indefinitely after being arrested on a DUI charge over the weekend.

Which game are you most interested in watching this week?

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