Speed Read: Sheets, Bolts, Raider Exec On Fire

Somebody lit a fire under Ben Sheets last night. Literally. With the Brewers off on Monday, Sheets was one of many residents who had to evacuate the downtown Milwaukee high-rise he lives in after a kitchen fire in another unit threatened his condo. Sheets escaped unharmed, but perhaps this was some sort of sign from above. Or perhaps it was just the work of some idiot who tried to put a pizza box in the oven.

kitchen fire

There was good news for the Brewers, though, as the Mets lost to the Cubs 9-5, pulling the idle Crew to within one game of the wild-card leaders.  Jason Marquis became the second opposing pitcher to hit a grand slam at Shea Stadium this season, after Felix Hernandez, who pulled it off back on June 23rd. The Cubs clinched the best record in the NL.

The Phils and Rays took steps toward division titles with wins last night, while the D-Backs are still alive and within two games of the Trolley Dodgers after getting Brandon Webb his 22nd win in St. Louis. And the Red Sox kept the Yankees mathematically alive by losing to the Indians. The Sox’ wild-card magic number remains at one.

And, oh yeah, there was a football game. Even Ed Hochuli couldn’t have saved the Jets last night as the Chargers rolled to their first victory. The Chargers should be able to get to 2-2 after playing the Raiders next week. I’m sure Lane Kiffin will be fired at least five more times between now and then. Meanwhile, the Favre-Jet Fan lovefest is just about over. The Jets could’ve been 1-2 with Chad Pennington. Full meltdown mode will commence if Chad’s Dolphins pass the Jets in the standings.

J-E-S-T

Speaking of the Raiders and meltdowns, team exec John Herrera went nuts today in a confrontation with SAN JOSE MERCURY-NEWS reporter Tim Kawakami. You can read the story here, but the basic idea is that Herrera allegedly distributed an anti-Lane Kiffin column to reporters, and now is contending that he didn’t. He also calls the columnist’s colleague a “smoke pot,” whatever that means. Let hilarity ensue:

It’ll be hard to top that, but let’s try:

  • So you’re a freshman at USC and you wander into one of your music classes and you look up and see this guy sitting next to you:

Flea

Yup. Flea has enrolled at USC’s music school and took some time to swing by a Trojan football practice after class, so says Adam Rose of ALL THINGS TROJAN.

  • Al Michaels once guest starred on Hawaii Five-0 alongside Christopher Walken, writes FARTHER OFF THE WALL’s Tom Hoffarth. Walken couldn’t have been any weirder than John Madden.
  • BUGS & CRANKS’ David Chalk channels Hank Steinbrenner, who thinks that new haircuts will get the longshot Yanks into the playoffs.
  • The Pedro Alvarez debacle looks to be coming to a close, according the PITTSBURGH POST-GAZETTE. Unsurprisingly, Scott Boras was heavily involved in all of this.

And now for the burning question you’ve all been waiting for:

How long will it be until Jets fans turn on Brett Favre and start calling for Kellen Clemens?

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