Speed Read: Rays Top Red Sox, Ratings, All Logic

Hey, remember when about two weeks ago I was spouting off some amazing reasoning on why the World Series would be Los Angeles and Boston for the sole purpose of perpetuating a great storyline? Well, here’s a better one: two under-the-radar teams are the only squads remaining on the World Series Doppler. Philly’s series tickets already have dry, dry ink, but the American League had a conclusion to reach that lasted, for some inexplicable reason, far, far beyond Game 5.

Tampa Bay Rays win ALCS

(With David Price throwing heat, hell, who needs opposable thumbs?)

The big reason the Rays won 3-1 on Sunday night was Matt Garza lasting seven strong, allowing one run and two hits. That also gave him the ALCS MVP, and a blank check to swear on TBS. Said Garza on LIVE UNCENSORED television, when asked what he’d take, the MVP or the World Series: “Sh*t, I’ll take the World Series every time!”

Tampa Bay Rays celebrate ALCS win

Other MVPs of the game: Price, who got the final four outs of the game for his first major league save ever; Willy Aybar, who provided the team with a solo home run and scored another; Evan Longoria, who gave the world an RBI double; and Jason Varitek for striking out three times and finishing the series with an .050 average. Could the captain catcher be moving elsewhere next year?

Steven Jackson stiff arms the Cowboys

Let’s go with the surprise motif — heck, it’s gotten us this far. The Romo-free Cowboys shouldn’t be a team that the St. Louis Rams — the freakin’ Rams — should boss around. But sure enough, the trap game for America’s team turned into a full-out massacre in a 34-14 win for the Fightin’ Hasletts. You can thank Steven Jackson for 160 yards and three touchdowns, although if I were to draw a pie chart breaking down the amount of people elated with this result:

Steven Jackson pie chart

Now then. What else, you ask, is going on, besides 83 season previews of every NBA team?

How will the 2008 World Series play out?

View Results

19 comments

  1. Gravatarjason
    10:09 am on October 20th, 2008

    When Longoria made that inning-opening error in the 8th, I thought the Red Sox would bust out again with another rally. I was a David Price strikeout of J.D. Drew away from being correct.

  2. GravatarVandy Is Dandy
    10:14 am on October 20th, 2008

    David Price, VU alum. Thank you very much.

  3. GravatarNick N.
    10:22 am on October 20th, 2008

    So, a Tampa Bay-Philadelphia World Series. Much more intriguing than Red Sox-Dodgers. Bud Selig must be thrilled.

  4. GravatarMan U-SA
    10:25 am on October 20th, 2008

    Can't wait for Matt Garza to give his World Series winning speech: "Sh*t! I'm going to Disneyland!"

  5. GravatarDirty Waterboy
    10:33 am on October 20th, 2008

    Dammit. So close to another dramatic comeback.

    Well, at least the Yanks aren't in the World Series, either.

  6. GravatarTuffy
    10:34 am on October 20th, 2008

    PETA wasn't hugged enough as a child.  Go hug your child today.  Or, in lieu of that, someone else's child.  No, it's totally cool.  Just go up to your local elementary school, walk into the playground, and start huggin' kids.  It's totally normal.

    (Note: Past performance does not predict future jail time.  Consult your attorney before taking advice from Tuffy.)
  7. GravatarBronx Bomber Bombed
    10:38 am on October 20th, 2008

    Dirty:

    Well, at least the Red Sox aren't in the World Series, either.

  8. GravatarWes Welker Wuvs You
    10:40 am on October 20th, 2008

    Count me in that big piece of black pie as a Steven Jackson starter. Woot, woot!

  9. GravatarCanesFan77
    10:44 am on October 20th, 2008

    i don't like spam, but that doesn't mean i'm gonna try and stop anyone else from eating it.

  10. GravatarJimmy Rollins Band
    10:48 am on October 20th, 2008

    Shane Victorino can eat monkey brains and drink cod liver oil, for all I care. As long as he keeps producing.

    And congrats to the Rays for winning the AL pennant. Too bad your joy will be short lived when you get swept by the Phils.

  11. GravatarPacman Jerry Julius Jones
    10:50 am on October 20th, 2008

    Jerry better get on the phone and get us a better backup QB. A 40-year-old Brad Johnson isn't going to cut it.

  12. GravatarNeil Everett Diamond
    10:54 am on October 20th, 2008

    If the Phillies win the World Series, expect spam musubi sales in Philadelphia to skyrocket.

  13. GravatarDevil May Care But I Dont
    10:56 am on October 20th, 2008

    If A-Rod or Jeter hit the last homer in Yankee Stadium, then I could see a few bids. But Jose freaking Molina?

  14. GravatarDan Anderson
    10:59 am on October 20th, 2008

    Rams beating the Cowboys just shows what an unpredictable league the NFL is.

  15. GravatarSour Orange
    11:01 am on October 20th, 2008

    Are there any Hawaiian restaurants in the Philly area? It would make Shane feel more at home.

  16. GravatarCleveland Brown
    11:14 am on October 20th, 2008

    AT&T and Verizon should sponsor some cars in the NASCAR Sprint Cup race. That would drive them nuts.

  17. GravatarBermans 222 Dealer
    11:22 am on October 20th, 2008

    I thought David Price was surely going to be crushed in that game-ending dogpile last night. Have him toss a great save for the Rays, only to have his teammates suffocate him.

  18. GravatarAbe Froman
    11:28 am on October 20th, 2008

    rays and bucs both win on sunday. pretty good night to be a tampa sports fan.

  19. GravatarMinnyCooper
    11:41 am on October 20th, 2008

    Jim Haslett 2-0 - who would've thought?

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