Speed Read: NFL Nuttiness and MLB Melancholy

What a weird, wild weekend it was in the National Football League. And that doesn’t even count the craziness over Lane Kiffin’s job status.

Ronnie Brown Dolphins

(This just in: Ronnie Brown has scored another touchdown)

The biggest head-scratcher (since nothing is surprising about the Raiders anymore) must have been how the 0-2 Dolphins were able to obliterate the 2-0 Patriots - in the House That Brady Built, no less. As a result, Ronnie Brown becomes the new fantasy football flavor of the week, and Joey Porter gets some vindication.

In the meantime, stadium spectators were treated to some bonus football in East Rutherford (yay!) and Chicago (boo!). Last-minute field goals worked in Indy (Colts now 0-2 in new home) and Orchard Park (So long, Lane!), but not so much in Denver (Saints should’ve kept John Carney around). And Tony Romo does what Roger Staubach, Don Meredith or Troy Aikman never did - win in Green Bay. No wonder Jessica Simpson loves him so. (And hopefully Tony will bring his babe back a lovely cheese sampler.)

While the goofiness commenced on the gridiron, it was a sad day in the dugouts.  We all said goodbye to a long-revered institution. Yes, yesterday was the last telecast this season of ESPN’s “Sunday Night Baseball”. No longer will viewers of the Worldwide Leader start their week off with the amusing verbal antics of Jon Miller and Joe Morgan. We will miss them so.

Jon Miller Joe Morgan

Oh, and some ballpark in the Bronx closed up shop, too.

The latest AP college football poll is out, and there’s a new face entering the ranks after a bit of a drought - a 24-year drought, to be exact. The Vanderbilt Commodores enter the poll at #21 after outlasting Ole Miss 23-17, bringing their record to 4-0 and, more astonishingly, first place in the SEC. What a great day for Jay Cutler!

It’s still very early in the season, but wouldn’t it be remarkable if the ‘Dores could run the table and claim their first-ever SEC crown? (Hey, if Northwestern can win the Big Ten, why not?)

And when they make the movie of Vandy’s victorious story, we already know who should be cast as head coach Bobby Johnson:

Bobby Johnson Steve Martin

Actor-comedian Steve Martin. Disagree? Well, excuuuuuuuuse meeeeeeee!

And now on to some other pressing matters:

• STREETBALL bounces over some helpful do’s and dont’s of the basketball dress code.

Erin Phillips Australian basketball player

Of course, whatever Aussie b-ball babe Erin Phillips wears is fine with us.

• Taking a cue from the Mitchell Report, the SAN DIEGO UNION-TRIBUNE is pumped to present its own list of football players found using & abusing performance enhancing drugs.

• PRO FOOTBALL TALK is surprised to discover who owns the NFL85.com website - it taint Chad Ocho Cinco, but embattled ref Ed Hochuli.

• YARDBARKER rides the rasta slopes by shushing down some cool running video of the Jamaican Ski Team.

• Brett Edwards of AOL FANHOUSE laughs off the upcoming comedic showdown between Baron Davis & Chris Bosh.

• KUSA-TV in Denver drinks in news of ex-Avalanche coach Joel Quenneville getting arrested for a DUI.

• Speaking of illegal alcohol consumption, the DES MONIES REGISTER reports that 19-year-old Iowa LB Dezman Moses has been suspended for four games after being charged for public intoxication.

• BUGS & CRANKS shows how you too can cut up & mow down your very own ravishing Rays mohawk.

• The OAKLAND TRIBUNE plays the name game, as the McAfee Coliseum is officially once again the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum.

• The WASHINGTON POST learns that being a minor league baseball GM doesn’t require a geography degree, as Syracuse’s GM thinks Toronto is the capital of Canada.

In honor of the weakest of NFL Week 3, here’s today pertinent poll:

Which 0-3 team has the best chance of finishing the NFL season winless, thus bringing shame upon their city & fans for years to come?

View Results