Speed Read: Knee Surgery Sidelines Arenas Again

Agent Zero is once again aborting his mission of playing a full NBA season healthy, as Gilbert Arenas underwent knee surgery on Wednesday.

Gilbert Arenas sleeping

(Gilbert passes out from the pain?)

The Wizards star says the doctoral slicing & dicing will cause him to miss training camp, the preseason and the first part of the regular season - meaning he won’t be on court until at least December. This will be surgery #3 for Gilbert’s left knee, but you know what they say - the third time’s the charm. If anything, the recovery process should give him plenty of time to stay more current on his blog.

Mike Lowell Red Sox bent over

(The Red Sox’s rotten play on Wednesday pains Mike Lowell [L])

Mike Lowell sat out Wednesday night’s Red Sox-Rays contest due to a sore hip - or maybe he was just hip to what awaited the Beantown ballers, as Tampa Bay trounced Boston 10-3, taking a 2-game lead in the AL East. Meanwhile, the Diamondbacks slithered up to 3 1/2 games back of the Dodgers in the NL West, as Arizona got the better of the Giants, while L.A. was pummeled by the Pirates.

The rest of the MLB playoff picture made little change from yesterday - the Mets, Phillies & Brewers all won to keep the NL East & NL wild card chases the same status quo, while the White Sox & Twins both tumbled to keep the AL Central centered on a 2 1/2 game separation.

It seemed strange that Louisville & Kansas State faced off on ESPN on a Wednesday night. Rather than the usual Thursday night college football coverage, the Cardinals & Wildcats clawed it out in a TV slot usually reserved for a matchup between MAC schools (Ball State-Eastern Michigan, anyone?). So, why the weird Wednesday scheduling?

Louisville Cardinals Caddyshack gopher

All was explained when Mike Tirico paid a mid-game visit to the broadcast booth at Papa John’s Cardinal Stadium -  the move was made to help the Worldwide Leader further promote their Ryder Cup coverage. ESPN is set to televise Thursday’s Opening Ceremonies and will continue Cup coverage through the weekend. And where’s this year’s Ryder tourney? The Valhalla Golf Club, right in Louisville, Kentucky. Now that’s what I call corporate synergy!

Oh, and the Cards KO’ed K-State 38-29. Schools from the Sunflower State probably should stop scheduling Big East opponents and stick with Sam Houston State.

And now on to more pressing matters:

Michelle Wie

• The RIVERSIDE (CA) PRESS-ENTERPRISE tees up news that Michelle Wie is doing quite well at Q-School, as the teen swinger is currently holding second place in the LPGA qualifying tournament.

• MLB.COM learns that Manny Ramirez won’t let Joe Torre give him the day off, as the Dodgers outfielder dutifully declares, “I’m Cal Ripken!

• NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO hears that Roger Goodell is worried the NFL won’t make hundreds of billions of dollars this year, but only tens of billions.

• Kansas Jayhawks QB Todd Reesing needs a better press agent, as even reporters from the LAWRENCE WORLD-JOURNAL don’t recognize the local star signal-caller.

• BUGS & CRANKS gets a sneak peek at the 2009 MLB schedule. The Yankees & Mets will be opening their brand-new ballparks against their storied foes - the Indians & Padres?!?!

• WISN-TV motors up news that Wisconsin Badgers LB Jonathan Casillas is facing charges of drunk driving - while riding a moped.

Jake Miller of the DAILY PRINCETONIAN tells all about his summer internship at ESPN. And his greatest moment in Bristol?  Holding the door for Erin Andrews.

• The ARIZONA REPUBLIC lays down the law, as the small town of Guadalupe may soon be without a police force. Where’s Clint Eastwood when you need him?

• The MIAMI HERALD splashes up the story of one local high schooler who swam for Suriname in the Beijing Olympics.

• The ASSOCIATED PRESS passes along the revelation that when Tony Romo plays at Green Bay this weekend, the Wisconsin-bred QB will be stepping onto the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field for only the third time in his life.

In honor of Jeff Pearlman’s new book on those crazy Dallas Cowboys, we present our pertinent poll of the day:

Which would be the scariest situation to find yourself in?

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