Sox Fan Saves Yankee Fan; World Peace Achieved

Wasn’t it the ancient Mayans who predicted that the end of the world would come when a Red Sox fan donated bone marrow to save the life of a Yankees fan? That time has arrived. (*Earth trembles*). It’s been nice knowing you, everybody.

Look at this warm family portrait above. And then I have these snapshots of Osama bin Laden making out with Salman Rushdie that I’d like to share. The guy on the left, Boston resident Steve Karas, provided stem cells that saved the life of young Matthew Welling, 3. And that’s Matthew’s dad, Michael, in the middle, who is a frothing Yankees fan. Also I think Jimmy Carter may have been involved. Your Nobel Peace Prize is in the mail, gentlemen.

“It pains me to a large degree,” Michael Welling, Matthew’s dad, said. “But at the end of the day, it was more a matter of life and death, then it was first place in the American League.”

Matthew’s savior, Boston native Steve Karas, gets a special joy knowing that a Yankees fan received his genetic material.

“Although Matthew will grow up in an environment where people continue to tell him Yankees are the team of choice, he’s going to have that feeling deep down that he needs to root for the Red Sox,” Karas said, chuckling.

This entire thing is getting weird and troubling.

Most awesome part: Although just 3, Matthew can recite Mark Teixeira’s position, number and college. And is probably a better umpire than Tim McClelland.