Sorry Folks, Yankee Stadium Urinals Not For Sale

They’re auctioning off a bunch of stuff from old Yankee Stadium, and you’re invited. The most requested memorabilia? You guessed it: The urinals. And it’s no surprise: Nothing says Fancy Dinner Party like an old urinal from Yankee Stadium in your guest bathroom.

Yankee Stadium urinals

But in a classic case of bait and switch, the Yankees are now saying that, sadly, their urinals are not for sale. When they were making plans to tear down the stadium, they had indicated that they would be. Disappointing. In addition to the sentimental value, they could help science: Think of all the worldwide pandemics that must have begun in Yankee Stadium restrooms. One of those urinals is quite possibly the original source of the swine flu.

“People always ask for the bathroom stuff, like the urinals,” said Brandon Steiner, CEO of Steiner Sports,  the exclusive distributor of old Yankee Stadium memorabilia. “There were some strange requests.”

Alas, the Baseball Cathedral’s cans are not for sale, Steiner said. Pretty much everything else inside the old ballpark is, though.

An auction at the end of July will let fans own the dugout phone, the clubhouse carpet, even the foul poles. About 3,000 participants have registered.

Wow, if that carpet could talk (it would probably plead for antibiotics). The stuff will be auctioned in July, just about the time we’ll know for sure if the team itself is for real, or in the pisser.

But don’t be too depressed that you can’t have a Yankee Stadium urinal. The good news is that now you can make your own!

Hank Steinbrenner

PeepeeFace.com offers custom urinal screens to turn your home bathroom or favorite sports bar urinal into a cavalcade of fun and excitement. Order one of theirs, or create your own. Your move, Washington Nationals fans.