Some Jockeys Just Don’t Know How To Cheat Well

America is a country founded on the Protestant work ethic. Australia is a slapdash nation thrown together by a bunch of convicts. The Whizzinator was a model of ingenuity, where form meets function in a stylish, secretive way to pass drug tests. In Australia, they just give you a urine-filled condom and a sharpened lollipop stick.

Jockeys

A jockey was suspended from the sport for his attempt to help a friend pass her drug test. And while he had a lot of heart, he didn’t have an awful lot of creativity. Also, when you go to the store and buy only a lollipop and a condom, they usually call the cops on you.

Dale Evans of Callaghan Park Racecourse in northeastern Australia just wanted to help out his friend and fellow jockey Donna Carrigg (and if imagining them as smitten jockeys unable to admit their love for each other makes reading this post funnier, then by all means.) Carrigg apparently had reason to think she wouldn’t be passing an upcoming drug test, so Evans MacGyvered her a little contraption.

That inquiry heard Carrigg was found by stewards to have in the arm of her riding jacket a tied condom filled with urine and containing a sharpened lollypop stick

“The relevant facts are it was Evans’s idea, he encouraged, influenced and was persuasive,” Finlay told the hearing.”

The inquiry heard the sharpened stick, when pressed, would perforate the condom so the urine would freely run into the testing container kit.

After giving Carrigg the urine-filled condom device, Evans said Carrigg had told him, “I don’t really want to do this”.

Even after he generously threw in his own urine? Ungrateful woman. And she’s letting him take the fall: Evans is banned from riding for 18 months,