Soccer Player Mistakes Messy House For Break-In

Occasionally it’s refreshing to see that athlete stupidity isn’t confined to Americans. Witness Newcastle United striker Shola Ameobi, who returned home to find his mansion in such disarray, he assumed it had been broken into. Only later did he realize that — whoops — he had left it that way.

Shola Ameobi

Ameobi came home to find clothing strewn everywhere, and his checkbook missing. In a panic he called the police and detailed a list of all the things missing. As cops were on their way to investigate the break-in, he stumbled across the “stolen” items and had to sheepishly call the police back, and tell them not to bother, because he had left it so messy it just looked like a burglary.

Is this a sad commentary on how long athletes are forced to be on the road that they don’t even recognize their home? Or is it a sad commentary on how immature athletes can’t even manage their own lives without help?

One police source said in disbelief yesterday: “We were told thieves had taken a number of things, the most important one being the chequebook.

“Given what soccer stars earn, that was obviously a matter of great concern. Then we got a call back saying nothing was missing after all.

“Perhaps he had had a party and the place just looked as if it had been burgled.”

Oddly, the day after the incident, Ameobi signed a three-year contract extension with Newcastle - only to be loaned out to a lower-division side a week later.

Here’s a popular joke from around these here interwebs:

Q:What do Shola Ameobi’s house and Newcastle FC have in common?
They’re a complete and utter shambles.