Just because you’re being attacked in the stands by a berserk athlete is no reason to drop your cigarette. Just another day in British soccer, as Lee Whetter, the captain for St. Austell F.C., attacks a Newquay fan during a recent South West Peninsula League game in Cornwall.

The fan, Mark Charles, 48, was put in a headlock and pummeled by Whetter, but through it all did not drop his precious smoke. Impressive. Even more glorious is a woman who tries to intervene — while carrying a baby. A gigantic brawl ensued from there, and the DAILY MAIL got some pretty great photos.

Malice in the Palace, soccer edition, following the jump.

The brawl, which eventually involved several players and about 20 fans, began when Whetter received his second red card and was “sent off,” as they say over there. Newquay fans began taunting him, and Whetter decided to climb up and pay them a “What up?”

Bonus quote from a woman named Lisa Hampshire, who is the one holding the baby:

“I’ve never seen anything like this. Our baby is only nine-weeks-old and has been to every match since she was born.”

Points deducted here, however, for no Burger King tie-in.