The University of North Carolina signed up a skydiving duo to drop from the sky before Saturday night’s home opener for the football squad.  (After all, no one’s coming out to see McNeese State.  Not even the McNeese family.  They need to clean their gutters.  You know.  Gutter-cleaning season.  That’s it.)

Unfortunately, the weather was predicted to be rough while the men were in the air, so Kenan Stadium was not cluttered with raining men clutching a game ball.  (We assume they tore down Kel Stadium since no one’s heard from it in ten years.)

However, the skydivers spotted an opening in the storm front and agreed to leap just in time for the opening kick.  Unfortunately, the pilot and divers didn’t bother to verify again that the large bowl filled with people below them happened to be the same one they circled earlier.

And that’s how two men with parachutes and a football managed to scare the crap out of Duke and Virginia football players warming up for their game across Research Triangle Park in Durham. The men realized their mistake somewhere past the point of no return and, upon hitting the ground, ran for their lives.

Now you know where the old saying, “Measure twice and jump out of an airplane with a friend and an NCAA-approved football once” comes from. As Paul Harvey would say, that’s…. the rest of the dumbassery.  Good day.