Site Apologizes To Parker, Longo For Cheat Piece

Tony Parker was recently cruelly accused of treachery in matters of love. A Web site to be named later claimed Parker met a “model” named Alexandra Paressant at his wedding to Eva Longoria and later arranged an elaborate affair with her. Of course, anyone that’s seen Parker’s assist-to-TO ratio knows he can’t run anything that complex.

Eva Longoria

(What? Innocent??)

Unfortunately, this much has been proven to be true: he actually did marry Eva Longoria. There’s court documents and everything. You’d think we would have heard something about this by now, right?

However, the Web site in question has admitted they were duped. They issued a formal apology to (as this article puts it) “Longoria’s husband” (snicker) for the story and claim the “model” fooled them. Their due diligence probably involved double-checking the spelling of her name and verifying she had nude pictures of herself for the front page.
Fortunately, the happy couple can move on now to other more pressing matters that don’t involve the rest of us, like scheduling rapping lessons for Parker or acting-like-a-human-being lessons for Longoria.

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker

(Okay, that’s just cute. And a little forward. But still cute.)

Or at least we hope so; we hear rumors that Longoria would like to trade Parker and a French bulldog for Jason Kidd and the rights to Jayson Williams’ shotgun collection. Will no one learn to love Parker on his own terms?

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