Sidney Crosby Now Can Score Only With His Mind

Picture a man, battered and beaten. He has spent the third period of a National Hockey League contest as the silhouetted man in an impressive round of target practice from the locked and loaded Pittsburgh Penguins, filling him full of rubber puck shot in the last dozen minutes. His ragged breathing and soaked sweater betray his efforts to push the game to extra time. He finally nears the end of the period and has warded off the last volley from the Penguins battery…

Cristobal Huet crushed

…only to have his own rookie defenseman jam the puck behind him for the game-winning goal with 28 seconds left. Tough day, Cristobal Huet.

Sidney Crosby received credit for the own goal by the Caps’ Nicklas Backstrom, which makes sense since all good things come from Crosby. Also, there is every reason to believe Crosby has learned the Jedi mind trick and convinced Backstrom to slap the puck into his own net without Backstrom remembering any of it.

This left Crosby with two goals in the scoresheet; Evgeni Malkin assisted on the three goals actually scored by the Penguins in a 4-2 win over the Washington Capitals, including a spare round fired into an empty net a few moments after Huet was scraped off the ice. The Capitals are in 10th in the Eastern Conference as the Penguins sit in fourth.

(At least, they’re in fourth until Crosby convinces Gary Bettman that these are not the Penguins he is looking for and to move along.)